the day juliet turner broke apple’s dominance

If you don’t know about my love of all things A-mac by now you mustn’t have bothered reading much of this blog. I am such an apple-phile that I have a big chunk bitten out of the side of my head. Yep I am, and have always been, a sucker for anything apple. From my days writing articles for the school newspaper on a Mac Classic, through typing up my final year dissertation on a Powermac G3, to moving my entire music collection onto itunes and ipod – I have always loved anything mac. And part of this is a desire to own an iphone. Or was.

You see my faith has been broken. And not because of anything to do with the company or the products themselves. It’s the people that own them. I have come to realise that people who own iphones are the rudest, least considerate people on the planet. Their obnoxiousness and general disregard for life outside a two foot radius of them has made me consider the unconsiderable – getting a Blackberry instead.

[disclaimer: Several of my friends are proud iphone users – and maybe even several of my readers as well. Obviously I am excluding them and you from this rant – clearly you are the exception to the rule.]

You see I went to a concert in Ballymena the other day. My sister got me a ticket to see Juliet Turner in the Braid Centre. It was an excellent concert – the support acts were good, the atmosphere was friendly and intimate. The music was wonderful – the fact that she was suffering from laryngitis only gave her voice a fragile quality that made it a distinct from other renditions – it didn’t harm the performance in any way. I liked her music before I went but I am definitely an even bigger fan for seeing her live. And boy she is tall! When I was leaving I saw her signing CDs in the foyer. I was able to look her in the eye without bending my neck very far – and I’m 6’5”. I thought she must have been standing on a raised platform or something – but no. I checked.

Anyway, it was a wonderful, incredible, amazing, magnificent experience – bar one thing. The existence of iphone owners.

One woman in particular, sitting just in front of me, seemed to need some information urgently and would tap away on her phone, scrolling through hundreds of emails and hold the phone in the air to read it in such a way that the glare from the screen was at its optimum distraction level in the corner of my eye. It must have been important because she did this every thirty seconds throughout the concert.

Then there were the ones further forward who wanted to take a few pictures, or maybe a bit of video to remember the concert by. They would hold up their phones, compose the shot for a while, wait for the perfect moment and take the photo. But in a darkened room I find my eye drawn to shiny objects and – maybe it was just me – I found myself watching Juliet Turner in concert live on a 3 inch screen twenty yards away rather than the real person on the stage. In some cases when the phone operator had decided to video her I found myself watching the screen for the entire song.

Now maybe it is just me. Maybe I am hypersensitive about these things and need to learn to relax more. Maybe I just like complaining – but it really seems that iphone users can’t ever just put their phones away for a while. They have to be fiddling with them all the time. There were several hundred other people in that auditorium, most of whom are likely to have mobile phones. Yet it was only the iphone users I noticed. Why? BECAUSE THEY WERE WAVING THEM AROUND FOR TWO HOURS!!! It’s hard not to notice them.

Anyway, if my sister is reading this – thank you for the tickets. I really enjoyed the concert. If the people we were with are reading this – it was good to see you all again. It was a good night. Let’s do it again some time. If Juliet Turner is reading this – I was so impressed with everything you did. You are incredible and I will remember that concert for a long time. If iphone users are reading this – learn what a pocket is for. If you need to use your phone then use it… and then put it away… for more than thirty seconds.

itoast

So Apple have launched the next big thing - the Iphone. It's a phone that surfs the net and stores music. Personally I thought phones already did all that - Though I tend to use mine mainly for storing annoying ringtones.
I shouldn't be so cynical - I am a little intrigued by this latest Steve Jobs gadget. I won't be able to afford it but I will look enviously at the people using them. I still haven't managed to get around to buying an mp3 player let alone an Ipod, let alone an Iphone.

I just wonder what's left to be developed for next years Mac World expo. I have some ideas if Steve's reading. 1) A grass cutter with mp3 capabilities - I'll call it the I-sickle. 2) A latin translator for storing music called the I-claudius. 3) A modern version called the I-talian.
My favourite is an mp3 playing slice of toast - I can't think what I'd call it but think of the possibilities; listen to music as you get ready for work in the morning and then eat it. Genius.

me and my mate steve jobs

Could I possibly be more of a non-mac-using-mac-head? It's verging on tragic really. I am immersed in IBM compatibility. I use windows and have done since I owned my second computer (The first was an Amstrad CPC so it doesn't count)

Despite this I consider myself a Mac person. Just look at my laptop wallpaper - its a longing for something enabled by something else. It's a digital oxymoron - it's sad.

I used to use Apple Macs all the time. Back when I was the unofficial editor of the official school newspaper. We had a suit of 12 Apple Mac IIs and Classics - there were only two of us using them. I thought they were the business. I defended them to the hilt against my PC loving fellow geeks.

Then I went to university - we bought a compaq. A few years later I started building my own - all windows based of course. I did all my university work in the Windows 98ed Computer labs and then went to the empty Apple Mac lab for solace and mutual respect. Just me and my half eaten apple buddies. Man and machine. I didn't use them for actual work - I didn't trust them. I loved them but I didn't trust them.

And so now I haven't used a mac in any serious capacity for eight years. Ironically one of my PC loving fellow geek friends from those heady school days now has an ibook. Where did it all go wrong?