have yourself a merry little christmas

There’s something about the last day of term that fills me with Christmas spirit. I don’t know why it is but I’m pretty much humbug up to this point. The best attempts of corporate society to fill my waking thoughts with everything yuletide are wasted on me until the last few hours of school.

I’m good at hiding it. I play Christmas music in some of my classes – though I tend to favour cheesy Christmas jazz over cheesy Christmas pop - I smile and reciprocate when people wish me seasons greetings; I bit my tongue when Ballymena Borough Council put up their Christmas lights in early November; to all intents and purposes I appear to join in fully. The truth, however, is that I’m just not feeling it.

Today, though, I am feeling it. I look at the kids arriving for the Christmas disco with tinsel in their hair and presents in their hands and it warms my heart that they are having fun. I look out across the frost covered houses surrounding the school and I dream of snow drifting slowly on a crisp Christmas morning. Isn’t creation wonderful? I sit here and think about what Christmas represents and what it means for the future of the human race and suddenly I crack a genuine smile for the first time in ages.

I don’t know if I will be adding anything here between now and Christmas day. If not I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a joyous and blessed Christmas, it truly is a magical time of the year.

good will to all men

The last week of school – traditionally film week. Some teachers have been letting their pupils watch films since the end of last week but I’ve been holding out until today. This is mainly because I only have three movies they’d actually want to watch. I’ve often thought of introducing them to Kieslowski’s finest works but I’m worried they’d think the subtitles were an attempt to make them do work surreptitiously.

Sub teaching is a tough job at the best of times, but at this time of year it really is a nightmare. Imagine facing thirty angry teens who have no intention of doing what you ask them to do. Imagine the look of bemusement, nea, amused disbelief on their faces as you start to hand out their books, the snorts of indignation as you begin to write on the board. Imagine the howls of protest that drown out your instructions… It really isn’t worth the hassle, nor the stress headache which accompanies it. I want to make it to the holidays in one piece.

I remember with fondness the days I took small groups of pupils. I used to introduce them to the joys of scrabble and chess; partly to exercise their logic and vocabulary and partly because playing novices gave me a chance of actually winning occasionally. My less than noble motives were soon foiled as most of the kids became extraordinarily good at these games in a very short time. I’m not convinced I could use the same techniques today. I’m not sure I’d be able to pacify thirty sullen teenagers with board games and cries of “well done. You win again.”

Which is why I am writing this in semi darkness while my class watch ‘Ghostbusters.’ At least it’s educational – sort of. They mention scientific stuff sometimes and that’s good enough for me. But before you judge me please take a moment and consider the alternative.

chestnuts roasting on an open fire and all that.

The only thing more predictable than christmas decorations going up even earlier each year is people phoning in to radio stations and writing blogs complaining about christmas decorations going up earlier each year. I was listening to one woman who was truly concerned that Christmas was going to cease to exist soon. She almost wept as she described how shops were filling their windows with Christmas goods and towns were putting up street lights all around her. I felt her pain as she predicted that the decorations would look wilted and dowdy by christmas day itself.

As I listened I watched as they erected and decorated the huge tree outside Coleraine Town Hall – no doubt donated by Norway or someone; I think someone should look into how the Norwegians’ affinity for giving away trees to all and sundry at this time of the year contributes to global warming. I turned and mentally visualised the poor woman slowly shaking her head in dismay as I spotted the Moore’s Christmas displays. I walked sadly away sipping my Christmas blend starbucks coffee in its smart red cardboard cup. Above me the stars shone brightly – don’t they know its not christmas (the lesser known Band Aid b-side.)

Which brings me to where I am now – listening to Diana Krall crooning seasonal jazz, watching one of my pupils drawing a Christmas tree on my whiteboard. It’s only November 15th! Do I worry that I am lessening the impact of the season itself – watering down yuletide? Hmm. No.

I love Christmas – it’s definitely in my top 5 times of the year. I love the feeling I get when I genuinely get caught up in the spirit of the season (usually in the ‘Inn’ on Christmas eve with a hot whiskey in my hand) Right now I’m willing to join in the hype in a heavily ironic way.

As for the pupil… well, I think some of my energy saving convictions have finally started to wear off on him.