not another day off!

“See you on Monday – oh no, that’s right – Tuesday. We get Monday off, don’t we?”

“Wednesday.”

“What?”

“Wednesday. See you on Wednesday.”

“Why?”

“Snow. We get Monday off for St Paddy’s and then it’ll snow so hard that we’ll get Tuesday off as well.”

“No - really?”

“Trust me.”

So proclaimed the highly regarded meteorologist photocopy guy Geoff. As I often do I had stopped off in the reprographic room on my way out of school. He seemed so certain, so assured of his prediction that I didn’t feel the need to question him further. Photocopy guy Geoff had said it would happen so it would happen.

I now want you to look at the above photo. Study it hard. It’s a little image I took this morning (Tuesday.) I like to call it Snowscape – Sans Snow.

Lest you be in any doubt there is definitely no snow in the picture.

Dry roads and blue skies dominate the photograph. We did not get Tuesday off.

Pupils are of the opinion that teachers fall into two camps when it comes to unexpected days off. They tell me that there are the teachers who are so grateful for a moments rest that they embrace the opportunity to sit at home and sip soup with relish. Then there are the teachers who hate days off – they can’t stand the idea of pupils out in the streets during day light hours. They hate the idea of young people having fun rather than copying out text in badly lit rooms.

Of course they aren’t a hundred miles from the truth. Teachers do have mixed emotions about unscheduled breaks in service. As a sub I hated them – I didn’t get paid for days I didn’t work. Even now I’m not so keen. Don’t get me wrong – every teacher appreciates time off and the chance to take a breather is always welcome. It also means that there is less time to get through the work we need to do at school. For teachers already pushing their pupils to meet their coursework deadlines this is very annoying. Even in my job I find that everything goes crazy while I try to get caught up on a missing day.

So what is the moral of the story for today? Well I think it has to be: If you want 36 copies of a worksheet for your year 8 drama class go to photo copy guy Geoff. If you want to know the weather – watch Angie Phillips.

Hurrican Gordan (and his little Irish brother)

There are two sides to every story, it takes two to tango, He who hesitates buys the stock two points higher, Too many cooks spoil the broth. Life occurs in twos. That's my theory at the moment anyway. The best arguments are two sided. Especially, it seems, when it comes to the weather.

I got very annoyed yesterday. I overheard (was nosily listening in on) a conversation between two americans over for the Ryder Cup. I knew they were over for the Ryder cup because they were obviously rich, were wearing visors (who other than golfers and golf fans wear visors?) and they were americans in Ireland. There is another reason I guessed they might be over for the cup - the fact that one of them said to the other "I hope the weather's better in Dublin when we're at the Ryder Cup." A bit of a giveaway you'll agree. It was his friends reply that incensed me so. "Well, you have to expect rain if you come to Ireland - It's always raining in Ireland."

I could have dropped. "It's always raining in Ireland." For starters we're not IN Ireland sonny. We're in Northern Ireland, you want to leave the security of the Bushmills Inn and try making that statement in Dodge? But we won't even start on that. For main courses it does NOT always rain in Ireland. And for desserts it's some hurricane on the other side of the Atlantic that's causing the bad weather here, so, indirectly, it's your fault it's raining right now! - These are all things I could have said if I had the courage and my brain worked faster than it does.

Yep, the weather's a funny old game. And I don't envy the forecasters' job for a second. They can't win. Earlier they said it would be stormy and, in the early evening, its wasn't. "Pah! never trust a weatherman" we said. Then by late evening the trees were being pulled out by the roots - were we happy? Did we hail the weather forecasters? I think not. When it all comes down to it there are two views of weather people, and for once I'm going to put them in the positive:

We put too much weight on what the meteorologists tell us simply because we assume it is some kind of science. Just because something ends in 'ology doesn't make it a science - just look at Psychology. Weather forecasting is right up there with magic eight balls and radio 4 horse racing tips. We really need to stop expecting so much from them and start being amazed that they get it right as often as they do.

Weather forecasters are always right. They tell us how things are at the moment - the way things stand at the moment. If the weather system changes direction or speed its not the forecasters fault. Think of it as someone trying to say how the premiership table will finish up in may - as things stand right now Portsmouth will win the league - I'm assuming that may change in time though.

At the end of the day both statements are correct. It's just rich american golf fans who aren't.