England Croke in Dublin

"In front of a supercharged home crowd on a dry but blustery day in Dublin, Ireland tore into the white-shirted visitors from the kick-off" So said the BBC website almost 2 years ago to the day. Ireland again entertained the English today and again beat them - so what were the differences.

When the England squad's preparation includes a history lesson, you know that this is no ordinary rugby international.bbc.co.uk

Well, first of all it was held at Croke Park - the home of GAA in Ireland. Contrary to the predictions of a friend of mine this didn't turn out to be the issue it could have. "Rugby is now the most sectarian sport in this country" he proclaimed sagely. He obviously didn't expected to see the crowd politely applauding the British National Anthem. I'm not sure what he did expect - pipe bombs?

The crowd of mainly Irish fans respected the British national anthem "God Save the Queen", and the English flag flew next to a grandstand first built with rubble from the 1916 Easter Rising by Irish nationalists against British rule. Guardian Unlimited

The second difference was that this is an English team with a bit of confidence about them. Two years ago England were a demoralised bunch even before kick off after losing 9 out of their previous 11 games. This year's England team were sitting second in the table after beating Scotland and Italy - there were even whisperings of title contention.

The Irish put on a show of intensity not seen since New Zealand's infamous victory over France in November 2004, and the English were powerless to prevent the green tide that washed over them, leaving few survivors in its wake. World Cup Web

The third difference was that England Coach Andy Robinson has left the building to be replaced by Brian Ashton. Quick note to Mr Ashton - Resting key players, mind games and pretending players 'may' not be fit enough might work for Alex Fergusion. But International Rugby is a very different game from Premiership Soccer. I hope you learned the lesson our players taught. By focusing on one player and turning him into some kind of saviour figure you forget one thing - a team will always beat an individual. Jonny Wilkinson wasn't at his best today, but even if he was Ireland would have won the game.Difference number four. Hmm... struggling now. Ah, of course - the weather. According to that BBC quote at the start it was dry and blustery in 2005. This year it was rainy and still. In this situation a good kicking game is favoured. Luckily for the Irish O'Gara (not always my favourite player) was on fire, scoring 8 kicks out of 8 and totally confusing the English with his range of positional kicks and poor old Jonny W - with the weight of his country upon his shoulders, was overshadowed.

Ireland delivered the performance the occasion demanded on Saturday when they hammered England by a record 43-13 in a momentous Six Nations encounter at Croke Park to reignite their championship ambitions. New Zealand Herald

Finally, the fifth difference between now and 2005. The score. Two years ago Ireland won 19:13 - a handsome enough victory. In 2007 Ireland won 43:13. A record breaking score that will make anyone wearing green well up and choke back a few tears of pride. Congratulations to those English supporters who did themselves proud by singing and cheering throughout a match they never looked like winning - it can't have been easy. The commentator said towards the end of the match "The Irish players are beginning to enjoy this now." Me? I enjoyed every second.

sorry there's no title - the dog ate it

Picture the scene. A small group of pupils round one table in a small classroom getting on with a piece of coursework. One of them puts down his pen and begins to look around the room seemingly aimlessly.

SNT: Get on with some work.

PUPIL: That's what I'm trying to do.

SNT: Well get on with it then.

PUPIL: I can't.

SNT: Why not?

PUPIL: I can't cause I haven't got my polly pockets.

I have heard some excuses in my time. I remember in a previous incarnation as an English teacher in a small town school I set a homework. Each pupil handed it in except one little girl who earnestly held up a note from her mother. It read "Unfortunately Sonia has not been able to carry out the homework you set her. The Laptop is broken and her father is away on business." I kept the note - I look at it every so often to make sure I didn't imagine it.

What's the best excuse you've come up with to explain being unable to carry out a task? I have to admit that I came up with a few humdingers when I was a school kid; but I'm much too ashamed to record them here.

As for the pupil? Well luckily plastic pockets are not something I'm short of in my little stationery filled room. I was able to give him a handful - he still didn't do any work though.

I liked this so much I stuck it up on my wall

blogging in action

somebody wrote a blog about me writing a blog about meeting them.

oh no

Sorry. I obviously meant 'for whom to vote' yesterday.

who to vote for...

Dave presents a rather unnerving projection of the state of the union after the various regional and national elections facing us in the next few years.

voters in Northern Ireland will probably elect the unashamedly fundamentalist Protestant leader Ian Paisley and ex-IRA commander Martin McGuinness into power.

Inevitable

The Welsh Assembly elections on May 3 may well result in the formation of a Labour-Plaid Cymru coalition

 Scarey

Scottish National Party has a sneezing chance of winning the keys to Edinburgh’s sparkling parliament building on the same day

Scarier

Feelings of ecstatic liberation at having a nationalist party in power may prompt the Scots to vote in a referendum for independence... Sinn Fein would then claim the UK is effectively dead. and it could tell its followers to expect formal Irish unity by 2021... Isolated Protestants in the northwest of Ulster would start talking about negotiating a separate union with England and Wales.

Scariest

I have to admit that I have a tiny wicked desire to see this happen - just for the sheer interest of it all. At the same time I would probably emmigrate so I could witness the excitement from a safe distance.

In a few weeks I will head off to a local primary school to vote (lucky primary school teachers must get the day off.) I will (dv) definitely vote - I take that responsibility seriously. The thing is, at this stage I have absolutely no idea who I will be voting for.

I'm not one of those tribalists who votes for the party his father, grandfather and Noah voted for. And I'm not of the opinion that your vote is defined by the Church you attend - why restrict your opinions to two or three parties because the rest go to mass on a Saturday night instead of heading down to the local RP, FP or P on a Sabbath morning?

What are my options? Well, in my area the DUP are hot favourites to take all that they survey. Despite their reluctance to enter into power sharing they're not so reluctant when it comes to electioneering. Within hours of the election date being announced they had their banner up in the most prominent position Coleraine has to offer. My major problem with them is that I disagree with their policies on the Environment and Education. I would find it hard to vote for someone who doesn't share my principles when it comes to Education.

Next up we have Sinn Fein. Its hard to trust ex terrorists as a rule. It's even harder to trust ex terrorists who can talk for twenty minutes without actually saying anything or can turn a valid criticism of republicanism into a damning indictment of the british government. I admire the strides they've taken - but am I ready to vote for them? I'm not so sure.

The SDLP. Where Sinn Fein can turn a position of weakness into a position of strength the SDLP are adept at the return journey. I was very disappointed with their handling of the policing situation in recent times and it really shook my faith. They need to work hard to regain respect in the community.

UUP. The Ulster Unionist have had a hard time of it lately. Has a stint in opposition done them good? Not a bit of it. Instead of fighting tooth and nail to regain power the UUP have been practically anonymous. Oh, I must admit Reg Empey did call the DUP naive on Friday... that'll have them quaking. While the DUP and Sinn Fein have been painting to country red, blue, white, green and gold for weeks I saw my first UUP banner two days ago. It's like they are counting on past glories and I think somebody needs to tell them that the recent past hasn't been very glorious for them.

The Alliance Party. Good old yellow pages. They're the party we'd like to vote for but never do. They say nice things and paint a lovely bright yellow future. Unfortunately they have all the bite of a box of stale cornflakes. Maybe someday... but not today.

As for the rest, Conservative Party (the tories?! I think not), Green Party (like Alliance but more green than yellow), Make Politicians History (funny name - not much else), People Before Profit (Socialism is much easier to say), Procapitalism (probably invite the People Before Profit folk round for tea all the time), Progressive Unionist Party (interesting bunch - their bark tends to be louder than their bite), Socialist Environmental Alliance (appear to be mixing the greens with alliance - makes a greeny yellow I think), Socialist Party (more honestly named than the PBP lot), United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP?!? you can't be serious), Workers Party (if all the workers in the country voted for them I reckon they'd stand a better chance.)

I'll look into the Independent's when I have an hour to waste. Maybe by March I will have a better idea of who to vote for. I hope I do. Is it possible to put -1 -2 and -3 instead of 1,2 and 3 on your ballot paper?

scared of the strangest things

"Write about orange. Tell them about the orange file."

I had been discussing my blog and how difficult it was to think of new things to write. Photocopy Guy Geoff felt I should write a blog entry all about the colour orange. Why? Well, you see Geoff has a terrible fear of orange. Anytime he sees me with the orange file I use to bring down my photocopying he visibly cringes.
I sometimes wonder if it is the contents of the file that worries him more than the actual colour but the fact remains that he just doesn't like it when he sees that file. Whether the fear is rational (extra work on top of the 3 million exam papers he already has to copy) or irrational (orange just doesn't work for him) is beside the point. We all have fears and worries. I'm sure Geoff has others - he just thinks they're too weird to mention in polite company.

Working in education I come across a lot of odd phobias. Fear of adams apples, fear of cellophane, fear of polystyrene, fear of loud noises, fear of rubber bands, fear of bananas, fear of being poked... These are all genuine phobias that I have had to deal with in one school or another. I'm sure they all have scientific names and anyone with a day to spend on wikipedia is welcome to provide me with the correct terms.

I think I suffer from Caligynephobia myself - the irrational fear of beautiful women. They terrify me. I never know what to say when I am within a few yards of them, my breathing become erratic and I start looking all round the room to avoid eye contact.

Luckily I am not alone - and there is help out there. Dozens of websites offer solutions. One in particular caught my eye. It suggested that other solutions often required months, even years.

To add insult to an already distressing condition, most caligynephobia therapies take months or years and sometimes even require the patient to be exposed repeatedly to their fear.

This website promised that caligynephobia can be eliminated with the right methods and just 24 hours of commitment by the phobic individual.

But when I stop to think about it the other treatments start to appeal more and more. I'm thinking I may only be cured by prolonged exposure to beautiful women - I am prepared for it to take years if necessary. Anyone know where I apply?