the trouble with mrs robinson

And so I join the ranks of the hundreds of other blogs and newspaper articles this week to begin with the phrase: “here’s to you Mrs Robinson.” I almost didn’t. It was almost too easy - but how many other times will I get the chance to use a Graduate reference with such delicious relevance?

Most of you will already know the story, but for those who don’t here’s a bit of exposition - I’ll try be brief.

Peter Robinson (aged 61) is Northern Ireland’s First Minister. He has a wife, Iris (aged 60). She is also a member of Parliament - as well as being an MLA and a Councillor. She is therefore quite a high profile politician in our little land - no more high profiled than when she publicly declared homosexuality an abomination a little over a year ago.

The problem is, as it turns out, that around the time she was proclaiming moral judgement she was also popping behind her husband's back for a spot of adultery with a young man called Kirk McCambley, aged (at the time) 19. [insert personal choice of Mrs Robinson seduction quote where appropriate.]

There was also some fuss about accounts and how she has broken parliamentary rules by not declaring some rather large loans she managed to secure for her toyboy’s business plans. She also didn’t declare her interest when Mr McCambley applied to the local council to lease that business - a council on which Mrs Robinson sat. It’s all a bit murky and the ramifications for her and her husband (if it is discovered that he knew about these breaches and did nothing about them) will be better discussed elsewhere.

Truth be told I care little for the woman. I felt slight sympathy when I heard she was quitting politics due to mental health issues - I felt even more when it was announced that she had attempted suicide. I still feel a little uneasy at the way people are querying the legitimacy of the suicide claims - it would surely be incredibly cynical to use something like that as a counter for anticipated bad press. I'd like to think even our politicians are above that. All of this is sordid and a touch sleazy - but I care not for the details of a stranger’s personal life - even if they are a public figure.

The problem with Mrs Robinson in my world became apparent when I opened facebook.

Mrs Robinson Jesus loves you more than you will know. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

You see, the Robinsons are devout Christians. And the more I read the more I found my non-christian friends reveling in the opportunity to use this story as evidence that Christians are a bunch of war-mongering, red-necked, child killing hypocrites.

So infidelity isn't as much of a sin as homosexuallity(sic) then Mrs Robinson?

And this does worry me. It feels like if someone in the public eye professes to be a christian they are scrutinized and any flaw is further proof that christianity is the root of all evil.

If that is christian love then I think I'd prefer to be gay.

So here's to you Mrs. Robinson....HA HA HA (so apparantly its an abomination to be gay but she can waltz around cheating on her wifebeating husband?) Not the f***ing Waltons after all are we?

how I love it when people fall flat on their faces. isn't it great when the holy aren't holier than thou.

It's as if we go round telling everyone how perfect we are and make a point of letting them know how holier we are than they are. The quotes I put here are from friends of mine. They make me wonder how my friends see my faith. I knew they were atheists - but I always assumed they had a certain respect for my beliefs.

I can't keep up. OK so Homosexuality=bad; hypocrisy, homophobia, greed, lying & adultery = good? Is that right?

How does this work in reverse? If every time I saw someone spill out of a pub and start a fight with a stranger I went "atheists! aggressive bunch" would that be fair? If every time a non-christian was accused of fraud I pigeon-holed everyone as greedy, would that be justified.

I am no DUP supporter - and truth be told I've never really had much of a liking for the Robinsons. They're not perfect - they've committed some major sins. But, actually, I'm not perfect - I'm far from it. Luckily though, although I need to set an example and be aware of how others perceive me, I am not the role model to which the christian world aspire - nor are the Robinsons. Our role model is free from sin - flawless.

So don't paint us all with the Robinsons' brush - and don't paint them with my brush. We none of us are perfect - but maybe we'd get a bit closer to it if we concentrated on our own problems rather than glorying in others'.

how did we know what to do before them?

Article 1.
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Today the Universal Declaration of Human Rights celebrates its 60th anniversary. This is good news for me as it gives me the excuse to get my year eights to write the universal declaration of twelve year olds’ rights. It’s also, in my opinion, good news for the human race – but then I’m a bleeding heart liberal so you expect me to say that. For many, while the sentiment is admirable the implementation of these rights causes problems.

Article 3.
Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

The European Court of Human Rights comes under a torrent of abuse on a regular basis from large sections of the British press. It is seen as a set of rules that allow terrorists and criminals to operate on the same basis as the good, hard working, tax paying, church going, bread baking people of the world.

Article 4.
No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

It isn’t the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights they are directly attacking. Over here it is generally the much more recent Human Rights Act (2000) that faces criticism. And the European court of human rights regularly makes front page news when it finds against public opinion. Jack Straw, ironically the British Home Secretary when the Government brought in the Human Rights Act, recently admitted that the Act was seen as “a villains’ charter and promised reform.

Article 5.
No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

The Conservatives have been calling for massive changes for a long time. And the right wing press have been unrelenting:
“It has given prisoners rights to drugs, and foreign hijackers the right to live in Britain. It has given gipsies (sic) the right to squat, and enabled the rapist Anthony Rice to get out of prison early to murder an innocent woman.” said Anthony Brown in the Daily Mail last year, “It allowed the killer of London headmaster Philip Lawrence to live near his widow because it was against his right to family life to be deported to his native Italy.”

You see the problem is that, while we like the idea of human rights, we’re not so keen on the universal aspect of it. It’s all well and good protecting the rights of the masses to practise religion in a free and open way but we don’t like it so much when that religious message turns against the type life we’ve been living so comfortably for so long. We applaud the right to free assembly but we’re not so happy when groups of people we don’t like come marching down our roads dressed in drag.

Article 9.
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.

It was a moment of delicious irony last week when the same politicians and newspapers who regularly vilify the Act found it supporting them. The English Police lost a case in the European Court of Human Rights that sees them have to destroy DNA records of innocent men. For years the Police have been building and storing records on suspects whether they went on to be found guilty or not. They claim it has helped them catch people who, despite being found innocent of one crime, go on to commit another one. I claim it was a worrying precedent – and the European Court of Human Rights agreed with me.

Article 18.
Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

I can’t, and won’t, claim that the Human Rights Act is a leak-proof guarantee of liberty and equality. The British Human Rights Act, the European Convention on Human Rights, and even the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights are far from perfect – I’m not sure it’s possible to enshrine something like human rights on paper. But I am sick of hearing people blame the woes of our society on a list of articles; most of which are common sense. The fact that it doesn’t prescribe responsibility with the rights does not invalidate the rights themselves. Why should it? Why have we become so incapable of taking responsibility for our own responsibilities. In one of my classes recently we stumbled upon the difference between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. Is it not sad that in searching for gaps in the letter of this declaration we miss out on the immense spirit that shines through it. It is simply, as it claims to be, “a common standard of achievement for all peoples and all nations.”

Article 19.
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

So I will be raising a glass to that little list today; for when I read through the UN Declaration of human rights for the first time a couple of weeks ago it reminded me of Thomas Jefferson’s magnificent words, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Article 26.
(1) Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.
(2) Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms. It shall promote understanding, tolerance and friendship among all nations, racial or religious groups, and shall further the activities of the United Nations for the maintenance of peace.
(3) Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children.

For a full list of the articles that make up the declaration go here.

i'm confused

Will someone tell me what to believe. I want to know what to think about our latest Prime Minister but wherever I look I get a different impression. "I'll see what he has to say in his conference speech" I thought, "That'll tell me all I need to know about him." So I listened to his speech and I thought he did all right.

NOT HIS FINEST HOUR
the Sun

But then I read in the Sun that it wasn't his finest hour. The Sun correspondents seemed incensed that he hadn't spent the whole time making promises that Britain will NEVER surrender to those pesky europeans who are attempting their boldest invasion plan since 1943. And if the reporters were bad the readers were worse.

How dare he just brush over something as important as the future of our country! Thousand of people fought for our country, who would be turning in the graves... if the unions stopped funding this ignoramus he would address the issues rather than continuing to deter from the issues the people want answers for...empty words Brown which has left this country crime ridden, swamped by immigrants. Make way for a better party that does care about Britishness...My thoughts on this lying, traitorus bunch are well known. Now he yet again shows utter contempt for us. Another labour promise broken. Do NOT vote for these lying traitorus scumbags again! Labour OUT

There's nothing I like more than informed politcial debate. So now I'm thinking that Brown is a bad bad man who wants to bring Hitler back from the grave so he can hand over the keys of Britain. Boo hiss.

LIFTING THE HEARTS OF THE NATION

the Mirror

But then I read the Mirror and they don't seem so worried. In fact I get the impression they had a lump in their throat and a tear of pride in their eye as they listened to his stirring words.

Mr Brown proved yesterday he's transformed perceived weaknesses into his greatest strengths. To be a serious politician in an uncertain, insecure world is precisely why the British people are flocking to the Brown banner.

What a lovely man; though I must admit that I'm worried what the Sun readers might be flocking to Brown for. He might want to increase his personal security. All of this has done nothing more than confuse me further. Who should I vote for in the possible psuedo election that might or might now happen later this year? It makes me yearn for the Liberal Conference and fundraisers involving raffles for autographed Cheeky Girl merchandise.

flashbacks

hands up if you are an invisible pupil

Education has been in the news quite a bit recently, what with the Conservatives wanting to do away with grammar schools, well wanting to do away with grammar schools that haven't been built yet (is that possible?), then wanting to renew their love of grammar schools. But most people know my views on academic selection and the priviledged few by now so I want to think about another education story.

Teachers who encourage whole classes to put their hands up to answer a question, risk leaving quiet children behind, a government study suggests. bbc.co.uk

This study was widely reported on Friday and it left me a little confused. Predictably the right wing press (who apparently want us to go back to sitting in rows and writing on slates - best pupil getting to warm their hands at the range for 30 seconds at breaktime) jumped on it as another example of political correctness gone overboard. While I am loathed to show any sort of support for this approach, after reading the report I am left wondering whether it was actually needed.According to Secretary of State for Education and Skills Alan Johnson,

This practical report takes hands-on learning from the classroom about strategies that work, and gives that knowledge back to the frontline... I want to remove the barriers which prevent any individual child from reaching their full potential... These reports will help all teachers to personalise their classroom teaching to the needs of specific groups. DfES

I have to get this man to help me prepare my job applications. He knows all the right words. I still get the impression that, sometimes, these reports are written for the sake of writing reports.Of course teachers have to be aware of th"invisible" pupil. Of course teachers have to ensure that each individual pupil is taking something from the lesson and is hitting the learning objectives. Of course we need to encourage pupils to step out of their comfort zone and push themselves to achieve their potential. None of this is new. I was able to spout all of this during my teacher training - I knew it then and I knew it before I read this report. The report makes suggestions for classroom strategies that, quite frankly, if teachers didn't already know they need to go back to training. The report provides guidelines for identifying "invisible pupils" that are as common sense as not driving at night with broken headlights,

Invisible children• are quiet and undemanding; the description of them as ‘invisible children’ comes from teachers• don’t mind if they don’t receive immediate attention and will sit for long periods waiting for it• are uncomfortable with open-ended questions• many have strategies to avoid the teacher’s gaze in the classroom

The words "Um, duh" spring to mind. I'm all for DfES taking an interest in improving the education of our youngsters - I just wish they could do so without patronising those of us who do it every day.

shock horror... dave and I agree.

I was going to write a political entry today. One about a photo I saw in the press that stopped me in my tracks and caused me to swallow many flies.

I was going to but I've had my thunder well and truly stolen by Dave who wrote what I was thinking with a lot more style than I could have. I can't believe we're actually like minded on something - must be some kind of precedent. So rather than waste your time reading something here why don't you pop across to his blog and read how I would like to be able to write it.

I used my voice - i just don't think anyone heard

So I went and handed in my vote. I won’t say what direction I voted – I know people who read this on both (all?) sides who wouldn’t speak to me for weeks either way. I remember once at a BB Camp telling one of the helpers I had voted a certain way. Within minutes he had announced this to all the other helpers and most of the boys – hardly the most discrete person I’ve met. So much for secret ballots. I wouldn’t have minded so much but I wasn’t actually being serious when I told him… still, reputations are formed on less.

A

nyway, as usual I turned up in the closing minutes of voting. I like to leave it to the last minute in case some reaction to the election changes my mind. There was a volunteer outside the Polling Station who handed me a piece of paper showing how to vote in order to maximise the DUP mandate. He didn’t say anything, try to gauge my intentions. I wanted him to say “I trust you will be supporting the DUP this evening?” I wanted to ask him his policy on education and the environment. I wanted to listen earnestly to his reply then point out that that is the precise reason I wouldn’t be supporting the DUP that evening. He didn’t say anything.

So you know I didn’t vote DUP but that is hardly a surprise. And, in all likelihood, I doubt if they really missed my vote.

Mr Paisley would have proved it is possible to triumph at the ballot box without abandoning religious views considered prehistoric or abhorrent by mainstream Christianity. His website still contains polemics against Roman Catholicism, Billy Graham and Jesus Christ Superstar.
Van Peebles Land

I live in a particularly unionist part of the world. It would be a massive shock if the good Dr’s crowd didn’t match or improve upon their standing in 2003. I reckon it’ll turn out a bit like this:

And if the results do turn out like that I'm going to quit my job immediately and start training to be the next Peter Snow. Despite the fact that it has been one of the lowest-key elections in years with everyone expecting a dead cert and parties lacking motivation for a full out fight there was an impressive turnout. Over 60% in my area. Having said that with minutes remaining there wasn't too much of a queue when I arrived.

I was a long time in the booth – there was quite a queue when I left. It wasn’t that I was finding it tough to come to a final decision – I just found it interesting looking at the list of candidates. For the first time I noticed that five of them – fully one third of the candidates came from the small town in which I teach. Each of the main parties had a candidate from Limavady – as did the Green Party. I didn’t know it was such a political town; well not beyond writing sectarian slogans on walls anyway. Maybe I should pay more attention to the kids I teach – one of them may just represent me in Stormont someday.

who to vote for...

Dave presents a rather unnerving projection of the state of the union after the various regional and national elections facing us in the next few years.

voters in Northern Ireland will probably elect the unashamedly fundamentalist Protestant leader Ian Paisley and ex-IRA commander Martin McGuinness into power.

Inevitable

The Welsh Assembly elections on May 3 may well result in the formation of a Labour-Plaid Cymru coalition

 Scarey

Scottish National Party has a sneezing chance of winning the keys to Edinburgh’s sparkling parliament building on the same day

Scarier

Feelings of ecstatic liberation at having a nationalist party in power may prompt the Scots to vote in a referendum for independence... Sinn Fein would then claim the UK is effectively dead. and it could tell its followers to expect formal Irish unity by 2021... Isolated Protestants in the northwest of Ulster would start talking about negotiating a separate union with England and Wales.

Scariest

I have to admit that I have a tiny wicked desire to see this happen - just for the sheer interest of it all. At the same time I would probably emmigrate so I could witness the excitement from a safe distance.

In a few weeks I will head off to a local primary school to vote (lucky primary school teachers must get the day off.) I will (dv) definitely vote - I take that responsibility seriously. The thing is, at this stage I have absolutely no idea who I will be voting for.

I'm not one of those tribalists who votes for the party his father, grandfather and Noah voted for. And I'm not of the opinion that your vote is defined by the Church you attend - why restrict your opinions to two or three parties because the rest go to mass on a Saturday night instead of heading down to the local RP, FP or P on a Sabbath morning?

What are my options? Well, in my area the DUP are hot favourites to take all that they survey. Despite their reluctance to enter into power sharing they're not so reluctant when it comes to electioneering. Within hours of the election date being announced they had their banner up in the most prominent position Coleraine has to offer. My major problem with them is that I disagree with their policies on the Environment and Education. I would find it hard to vote for someone who doesn't share my principles when it comes to Education.

Next up we have Sinn Fein. Its hard to trust ex terrorists as a rule. It's even harder to trust ex terrorists who can talk for twenty minutes without actually saying anything or can turn a valid criticism of republicanism into a damning indictment of the british government. I admire the strides they've taken - but am I ready to vote for them? I'm not so sure.

The SDLP. Where Sinn Fein can turn a position of weakness into a position of strength the SDLP are adept at the return journey. I was very disappointed with their handling of the policing situation in recent times and it really shook my faith. They need to work hard to regain respect in the community.

UUP. The Ulster Unionist have had a hard time of it lately. Has a stint in opposition done them good? Not a bit of it. Instead of fighting tooth and nail to regain power the UUP have been practically anonymous. Oh, I must admit Reg Empey did call the DUP naive on Friday... that'll have them quaking. While the DUP and Sinn Fein have been painting to country red, blue, white, green and gold for weeks I saw my first UUP banner two days ago. It's like they are counting on past glories and I think somebody needs to tell them that the recent past hasn't been very glorious for them.

The Alliance Party. Good old yellow pages. They're the party we'd like to vote for but never do. They say nice things and paint a lovely bright yellow future. Unfortunately they have all the bite of a box of stale cornflakes. Maybe someday... but not today.

As for the rest, Conservative Party (the tories?! I think not), Green Party (like Alliance but more green than yellow), Make Politicians History (funny name - not much else), People Before Profit (Socialism is much easier to say), Procapitalism (probably invite the People Before Profit folk round for tea all the time), Progressive Unionist Party (interesting bunch - their bark tends to be louder than their bite), Socialist Environmental Alliance (appear to be mixing the greens with alliance - makes a greeny yellow I think), Socialist Party (more honestly named than the PBP lot), United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP?!? you can't be serious), Workers Party (if all the workers in the country voted for them I reckon they'd stand a better chance.)

I'll look into the Independent's when I have an hour to waste. Maybe by March I will have a better idea of who to vote for. I hope I do. Is it possible to put -1 -2 and -3 instead of 1,2 and 3 on your ballot paper?

league tables? who's bothered

The School League tables have been published. I'm not really that bothered - they're only for English Schools. It doesn't really matter anyway - the results are so confusing no one understands what they mean anyway. Schools using the International GCSE system will find that those results don't count towards their league position and no account was taken for school's who lose the cream of their pupils to selective schools in the area. That is what happened to the school at the bottom of the table. (apparently) On the BBC Education website one headmaster of a school using the IGCSEs commented that the new exams are:

widely held to be a more challenging exam and much better preparation for A-level mathematics... But at this time every year schools that have made the transition pay the price as league tables are issued which give no recognition of IGCSE at all, while awarding points aplenty for floristry, hairdressing, Indian head massage and cake decorating.

Maybe he's just bitter - or maybe this league table, like much of the red tape in education, is meaningless. Personally I find it interesting to read for entertainment value but I'm odd like that. I have to admit that I was relieved to see that a School where I had considered teaching performed badly - maybe they'll still want me in a few years.

finally

Finally - a news story on which I am perfectly qualified to comment. Ruth Kelly has chosen to send one of her children to a private school to cater for his special educational needs.
As someone who feels very uncomfortable with the very concept of private education I have strong opinions about choosing to pay for an educational advantage. As someone working in the special education field I have strong opinions about funding for mainstream state special needs funding. Yes, I believe I am perfectly qualified to judge a Labour government on education, education, education.

But I'm not sure I actually can comment on this story. I'm missing one vital qualification - I'm not a parent.

I don't know how I would feel in her position. I can only assume that I would want the best for my child and if that involved paying money, and if I was in a position to afford the expense... well, I just don't know. The one thing I do know is that family surely comes before career.

So a moment comes where I can express a qualified position and I feel unable to do so - sorry.

when i'm right i'm very very right

I'm good. Real good. How long ago was it that I said we needed to rethink our A-level system? How long ago was it that I suggested an International Baccalaureate-esque programme? Just to help you out it was the 18th August.

What news do I hear today? I hear that our Prime Minister, Tony "education education education" Blair has finally done something about it. He's made a speech. Or at least, according to the news, he is going to make a speech imminently.

In a speech in Birmingham, Mr Blair will say he wants 400 academies, double the present target for the year 2010. - bbc.co.uk

But what else?

The government is expected to promote the International Baccalaureate as an alternative to A-levels in the state sector.
It may have been stuck in with all the other less interesting information about Trust Schools and City Academies but it is, nonetheless, there. Or at least it will be there. When he makes the speech that is. Mr Blair is giving a distinct nod in the direction of the IB as a means of assessment and it has made me smile.

For those who may not be familiar with the IBs they comprise six main subjects studied over two years, three studied to a higher level than the other three. There are also compulsory elements - a 4,000-word essay on a topic of the student's interest; theory of knowledge; and creativity. It is the kind of course I wish I was offered when I was 16. If I ruled the world I would make little changes; maybe merge it into year 12 work (ditching GCSEs of course) and add extra curricular elements. But I like the general principle. It's important to offer a broad education - not one that narrows and narrows until our young people start suffering tunnel vision.

When I was doing my A-levels I was convinced that I would become a scientist - after all my older siblings were all scientists. I almost decided to do just science based A-levels but opted for English Literature as well, just in case. As it turned out I was useless at science. I ended up doing an arts degree and I loved every minute of it. Where would I be if I hadn't chosen the Eng Lit A-level a decade or so ago? Why are we pigeon holing our kids at 16? Maybe we could go the whole hog and ask them what they want to be when they're 6 and shaping their education to fit. The train driver and astranaut courses would be very popular I'm sure.





So 10 years to the day since Ole Tone proclaimed that infamous three word soundbite he is finally coming round to my way of thinking on education - it's a shame it's a bit late really.

what do midterms mean to you?

What does the word midterm mean to you? For me midterms are great - they mean a few days off at the heart of the school term, they mean staff development days, they mean a welcome break for the quickest of all recharges, they mean Portrush and Portstewart are bunged with families praying for good weather.

They used to mean something much more sinister. In my short stint at UW they meant exams - and major lack of preparation. We didn't have midterms at UUC, just coursework and little tests. UW loved their midterms. Walking into the Canadian Literature exam knowing that my revision consisted of listening to a Leonard Cohen album on my way to the hall will abide as one of my most stressful memories.

What do midterms mean for the Republican Party? I bet they wish it meant holidays and exams.

wonders will never cease

It seems today Ian Paisley met with the head of the Catholic church in Ireland, Dr Sean Brady. Now, I have to admit that it came as a little bit of a surprise to me. Having said that I am pleasantly surprised. It's only twenty years since he was describing the pope as the antichrist.

Actually I most pleased with the fact that both delegations described the discussions as positive and there are plans for more meetings. It's a rare thing in this little country to hear such sentiments.

I don't doubt Ian's religious views are unchanged - but it's nice to see him trying for a bit of moral high ground.

i should be the new home secretary for education

There’s a lot of talk on the news recently about how the country is running out of prison spaces. Leaving aside the obvious point about how we let it get to the stage where we have only around 200 places left in the whole country (That could be filled after a single football match between Millwall and Cardiff) I have a suggestion.

The education system will soon be facing a problem. A demographic down turn caused by an estimated cost of £165,000 to bring up a child and better television will lead to a funding crisis in schools. Fewer pupils, less money. Less money, less progress.

We could solve these two issues in one swoop by merging them. Criminals and children learning together in perfect harmony. Classrooms would be filled, Classroom discipline would improve, teachers would hold on to their jobs and prison cells would be freed up. Teenage shoplifters would have professional role models and school dinners would undoubtedly improve. It seems a logical step to me.
Just a thought.

I'm glad it's not like this all the time

A week or two ago I wrote a post all about watching Derry City play in a chip shop in Ballymena - that's me watching it in a chip shop, not them playing in a chip shop. It was a post of joy and optimism. A post proclaiming love and peace in a country thought of as a recovering war zone. I was uplifted writing it.

Now I am crestfallen.Coming from Northern Ireland it is hard to avoid topics of religion and politics. If you see a film in NI it generally mentions the "situation" Plays set in Ulster tend to have a group of loyalists and a group of republicans playing montagues and capulets, stand up comedy routines tend to have at least one Big Ian reference - they're not funny otherwise. It's hard to avoid these topics, but not impossible. A group of us make short films in this country and I can't remember one reference to "the troubles" - unless you count a prank involving an Irishman in Camp David wearing a balaclava.

I had intended this blog to be sectarian free but thinking back over the past couple of months I can point to at least six posts with something to do with political religion in Northern Ireland. and here I am about to write number seven - I guess I failed.

You see it's like this. Derry were playing the return leg of that football tie in Paris last night. I went back to Ballymena to stand outside that chip shop waving my rangeltic scarf (creating it involved mutilating two separate football scarves to make one but I think it was worth it) If I thought I would witness a similiar show of bon ami I was sadly mistaken. Two drunks paying no attention to the football and a rather angry looking youth who called me jaffa scum because I was wearing a hearts shirt. I left despondent.

A friend of mine lives in a loyalist area of Derry, or should we say Londonderry. Her nephew is the result of a mixed marriage and is being brought up a a Protestant in a Catholic area. She told me today how she had picked him up from Boys' Brigade last night. They had gone to buy stickers in a shop near her house and as they were leaving the shop he looked up at her and said, "It's just as well we went to your shop and not ours. Cause if we went to ours they would have see me in this uniform and known I was Protestant." He's four. So young, so cynical. She said it nearly brought tears to her eyes - it very nearly brought tears to mine.

Things have improved. Things are improving. I just wish they'd hurry up a bit.

the future's bright

I've literally just heard the woman from UTV say that Terrorism is Northern Ireland's fastest growing industry. Doesn't she know how comments like that could inflame situations? We're trying to move forward to a glorious future of comradeship and mutual love - not back to the bad old days of the 'troubles.' How can programme makers gamble with our nation's... oh, 'tourism' - sorry.

party Politics - small style

Schools can be very funny places – even without kids. In our area a group of local schools get together each year for a conference before term starts to share ideas and to inspire each other for the year ahead. A wonderful time when we can embrace teachers from competing schools as one of us – comrades in arms. Except it never works out like that.

Schools are political (with a small p) in a way that (surely) no other industry is Grassroots teachers like myself aren’t the problem – we love the chance to get together to bitch about red tape, bureaucracy and our respective leaders. It’s our respective leaders who act like playground bullies fighting turf wars. It happens everywhere but never more so than in our town where the schools are in each other’s backyards and, as such, are forced to work closely together. One big partnership – except who’s the senior partner?

Candidates include the:

Grammar School Principal – excellent credentials and has the advantage of highly motivated high achieving school population behind him. Loyal and supportive parents are another plus. On the minus side some elements might believe that a large, successful school like his don’t need to work with minnows like the rest, let alone lead a partnership.

High School Principal – Publicity hungry and innovative he is the most vocal of the candidates. What his school lacks in academic excellence is made up for by his eagerness to jump into any pilot scheme going. He loves being a guinea pig and the education board love him for it.

Special School Principal – Lacks many of the restraints imposed on bigger players. However system is a little removed from what the rest are used to. Not really big enough to weld much influence.

Catholic School Principal – Excellent communicator who has the ability to act as a mediator style leader. Lacks ambition though and is happy to watch the rest fight it out.

In reality we can really concentrate on the main players, the grammar and high school principals. One has just finished his stint as chairman of the partnership and passed the role on to the other – grudgingly. What makes this battle even more interesting is the fact that these two men obviously don’t even like each other, never mind get on.

And so I return to our little conference – I watch the two of them (each with their respective lieutenants by their side) trying to adjust a data projector for a PowerPoint presentation. Neither of them satisfied with the way the other has it set up. Each trying to prove himself master of even the little things. I picture the two of them as alley dogs fighting over a used chip paper. And I smile because I know this image will get me through another very boring conference.

From Teen Obesity to Bridget Jones in Three Easy Steps

The word obesity has been used with virtual obsessive-compulsive regularity in the media over the past year. In the next few days the government will release a statement that something will have to be done about fitness levels or things will get worse (seriously?) They’ve pulled out some statistic claiming that unless drastic action is taken 33% of men in the UK will be seriously overweight in 4 years. Where does the four year deadline come from? And will someone please define seriously overweight. At what point does fatness go from being funny to being no laughing matter? Now that would be a government statement that would get my undivided attention. They could use a photo of Vanessa Feltz along with the word “funny” and then another of Rick Waller labelled “not funny.” I think they should run with it.

I am obese. I am 5 stone over what is considered healthy for my height. That’s a lot. I hate the fact that I am so fat and unhealthy; and if I had an ounce of self-respect and discipline I’d do something about it. I’m just not sure that the government saying that something has to be done about my weight is going to make me run to the gym any faster.

Most of the ideas being batted around seem to involve targeting children. Teenage obesity is right up there with teenage pregnancy as the scourge of the western world. The ideas can be split, I believe, into three categories:

1
Target the fatties: Okay, maybe that was a less than subtle description, but that is in essence what it boils down to. The ideas include spot weigh-ins and programmes of healthy eating and exercise specifically for overweight kids. There is good theory behind this. Overweight kids aren’t being catered for by conventional PE lessons. I remember vividly what it was like to be picked last for games and listening to the PE teacher telling the whole class that myself and two other pupils would struggle with a particular lesson because we “are carrying a lot of extra weight.” Not nice. Fat camps have proved a great success and have helped a lot of kids with their self-esteem as well as their body shape. My problem with implementing this in mainstream education is that it will undoubtedly lead to labelling overweight kids as different from the rest; working in the LSU as shown me how dangerous this can be.

2
Whole school: I lean more towards a whole school policy on health – including healthy eating and activity. Our school moved to a swipe card system for catering a few years back. We are not, however, not making the most of its possibilities. Think of discounted fruit and vegetables being subsidised by a premium for greasy junk. Think of award points for healthy choices. Think of pupils being taught about ways of improving their fitness rather than just why they need to do it. Think about individual targets without alienating the fat kids.

3
Jamie Oliver: Put Jamie, Bono and Bob Geldof in a room and surely there would be world peace within an hour.

As for me? Well I know I have to do something about my fitness. I have ideas and I have plans. I have thought about recording my weight on this thing on a weekly basis as an incentive. I’m not sure – not because of the humiliation of it all – more because I’m scared of sounding like Bridget Jones. I used to have an ex and the only bad thing I could tell you about her is that she used to write entire letters in Bridget J language. VV annoying. If that ever happens to me please put me out of my misery.

who's side was Lincoln on anyway?

It's come to something when you have to hold up a copy of the day's newspaper and be photographed to prove that you are still alive. Certainly things are not looking good for Cuba's leader Fidel Castro. On his 80th birthday on Sunday he was pictured holding up a copy of Saturday's Granma (The Communist Party newspaper.) These pictures were the first to be taken of him since his stomach surgery and despite his defiance even he seems resigned to the fact that he will never again lead his country.

Have you ever seen the death of someone so eagerly awaited by another country? Both George Bush and Condoleezza Rice have held press conferences on the future of Cuba and the american government has adjusted policy to make it easier for Cubans to defect to the US. Why are they getting so excited by the prospect of someone dying?

I am no Castro apologist. I occasionally see myself as an almost socialist when it suits me, and every so often I am taken in by the romance of Che and Fidel leading their socialist paradises in America's back yard. I am a great admirer of the Cuban health care system and, indeed, their education system; we have a lot to learn from this regime. However, I know I disagree with the vast majority of his policies, his views on religion don't greatly appeal to me, I dislike the fact that there is no free press or free elections, and I find the way his friends live lavish lifestyles while most of his people live in poverty hard to justify (although a suffocating forty five year US trade embargo may have played a small part in those levels of poverty as well.)

I can't help thinking that the US - or should I say a tiny, but noisy lobby in the US, believe that Cuba is their rightful property - it is the state that got away. In fairness Cuba has never been US property, the British briefly controlled the Island (rather unsuccessfully) but the United States of America has never occupied their little neighbours. Its relationship with Cuba, while never comfortable, wasn't always so acrimonious. The top photo shows Fidel Castro on a state visit to the US visiting, and laying a wreath at, the memorial to Abe Lincoln, the great emanicipator, in 1959 before the US embargo. The second photo was taken only two years later and shows a line of Anti-Castro Cuban exiles marching in support of President Kennedy's hardline policy on Cuba. What a difference 700 odd days make. But times have changed and, despite the fact that those same exiles continue to rant against Castro (I'm not blaming them - but would you really expect someone who ran away from a country to promote it) the larger part of the US administration and population have little appetite for a fight.

So, no matter how loud the ex-pat Miami inhabitants shout it is surely unlikely that America will launch any kind of military bid for regime change. After hundreds of CIA assassination plots and attempts it looks like that is about to happen all by itself. And the powers that be in Washington still imagine that when Castro goes the people will demand what they really want - a US style democratic regime with close trade links with America. It may happen or they may be disappointed. Maybe by then all the Cubans who favour that course of action will have already defected to Florida. Still we all know hoe important Florida is in presidential elections - better keep them happy.

the trouble between Right and Wrong.

Isn’t politics a funny old thing? Just when we think that all the MPs can think about is how they’ll be spending their summer vacations (rather than little pieces of trivia such as sorting out the Middle East) they come out with this little gem for the Department of Education. Its seem they feel schools shouldn’t teach the difference between right and wrong. Apparently these are absolute concepts which are now inappropriate. Ken Boston, chief executive of the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority, set out the proposals for changes in a letter to former education secretary Ruth Kelly. Under these new plans the National Curriculum will be changed to say teachers merely have to help pupils develop "secure values and beliefs".

Now I’m not going to get into that one, it’s a whole can of worms that when opened spew out all kinds of arguments about teachers being expected to be the moral role models for pupils and the diminishing responsibility of parents in children’s discipline and the secularisation of the curriculum and all kinds of things that can’t possibly be discussed in one entry – so I’ll stop.

I just think it’s rich, especially making a pronouncement like that, and then the next day telling children that copying essays off the internet is wrong, oh and submitting other people’s work in coursework is… um… wrong, and using modern technology to gain an advantage in exams is (you guessed it) wrong. I thought the concept of wrong was outdated?

They were discussing this topic on the Now Show on radio 4 on Friday and they mentioned the 10 Commandments. And so I thought I’d come up with a new set especially for the next academic year.

The Eleven Commandments
1) Thou shalt not have any gods before me – except maybe money, cause everybody needs money after all, oh and television if there’s anything good on.
2) Thou shalt not make any graven image. Although the ones that are already made are fine.
3) Thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain unless you soften it by saying something like Jeez or Gawd instead.
4) Keep the Sabbath day holy if there’s nothing better to do on it.
5) Honour your father and your mother so long as they do what you want – if not then throw a tantrum at every opportunity.
6) Thou shalt not murder anyone that doesn’t deserve to be killed – you decide.
7) Thou shalt not commit adultery – but, hey, looking at the menu doesn’t mean you have to order dessert if you know what I mean, nudge nudge.
8) Thou shalt not steal, apart from little things that nobody would miss. Hey the hotel put those things out for you. They’re yours to take if you want. And no one misses a bit of office stationery – it’s a rightful supplement to your wages.
9) Thou shalt not bear false witness except when it’s only a little white lie or you might get in bigger trouble if the truth came out.
10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house. His career and new BMW are alright though.
11) Thou shalt not start wars unless there is a possibility of forcing regime change on a country and being able to blame it on a search for weapons of mass destruction.

I'm beginning to lose faith in our political leaders. Maybe we should ask Earl.