not in my name

The death of Ronan Kerr, a year 25 year old man from County Tyrone, rocked Northern Ireland on Saturday. When a bomb exploded under his car in Omagh the news sent a shudder down the spine of the country that I haven’t experienced for a long time.

When I heard about it I was on a film set sixty miles away near Ballynahinch. During a break in filming I took out my phone to check the BBC website and saw the headline “Policeman killed in Omagh car bomb attack.” Immediately the words 'Omagh' and 'bomb' were enough to bring back awful memories; and then when I continued to read the story it shook me for a moment. I debated whether or not to tell the rest of the cast and crew there and then or wait until filming had ended for the day. It all seemed a bit raw and close to the bone.

It was something of a dreadful coincidence, you see, that around four o’clock – about the time the bomb went off under Constable Kerr’s car – I was playing the part of a policeman in the RUC during the troubles. I was surrounded by people who were, or had been, directly affected by the traumas imposed on the Police back then. One scene in particular involved me being filmed checking below my car for a bomb. To me it had been a little bit of screen business to carry out twelve times from four different angles – to the officers back then it was a routine that could be a matter of life and death.

Do we really want to return to such a time of paranoia and fear? Where lack of trust makes us suspicious of strangers? Could we really feel proud of a society where our police officers have to check below their cars before every journey – where they have to walk down streets in pairs – where they carry rifles and wear body armour if they leave the confines of police stations fortified by huge security walls and netting? Do we feel the need to return to a time where random searches and check points are needed?

I remember those times, and not with a nostalgic smile. The idea of returning to them – or anything like them – fills me with dread. However it seems some others (who may not even have been born at the time) don’t have those same memories. Perhaps they have built up some kind of idealistic, glamorised view of the past – minds filled with causes, and honour, and calls to arms. Surely if they had lived through it they’d know just how little honour there actually was back then.

This action and those responsible for it must be totally rejected. I am calling upon those involved to stop, and to stop now.

-Gerry Adams – Sinn Fein President

So it was with relief that I saw just how much outrage there was over Ronan’s murder – from all sides of the community. As politicians, public leaders, church leaders, sporting figures, journalists, celebrities, bloggers… everyone, united against the people who carried out the killing; as social networking sites lit up with messages of support and condolence for his grieving family; as GAA players and fans (not known in the past for their love of the police force in Northern Ireland) observed a minute of respectful silence for one of their own who also happened to be a police officer; as rival politicians united to speak out in support of the peace process… I allowed myself to feel a glimmer of hope that this young man’s death would not be in vain.

The people of the Bogside are angry this morning [about the graffiti], they have been angry since Saturday, just like the rest of the north. They do not deserve to be tarnished with this and the good name of PC Kerr does not deserve to be tarnished like this.

-Pat Ramsey SDLP MLA

If those who planned and carried out this young man’s death (and those ignorants who daubed the sickening graffiti lauding it in the Bogside area of Derry) realise that the rest of the population don’t see them as plucky little underdogs fighting against the malevolent colonial oppressors, but as a pariah, an evil, backward anomaly in a society that is trying to move forward. If they see that then I hope Ronan’s family can take comfort from the fact that, in his death, Ronan changed attitudes and helped lasting peace take a foothold in our troubled little province.

It is difficult to comprehend how a young man with the best interests of our community at heart, and who contributed so positively to our community, could be attacked in this way. His death demeans humanity and is detrimental to the development of a shared future based on mutual respect.

-GAA statement

Today we finished filming, and my time as a policeman came to an end. It’s a decent little movie – touching and quite thought provoking – but I doubt many, if any, of you will ever see it. And I doubt it will change society greatly. Today Constable Ronan Kerr was buried – I pray that his courage in life and in death will leave a much more important and lasting legacy. Actually, call me an optimistic fool but I have a feeling it just might.

--

yesterday

Yesterday I went for a walk. Several walks in fact. I’d just spent a few days in Dublin with a friend. I love Dublin, as cities go it’s one of the good ‘uns. It’s busy in right way – energetic and vibrant. Eating great Moroccan food served by beautiful Romanians in the Irish capital with a wonderful friend visiting from Wales; watching Italian cinema surrounded by film lovers of indeterminate nationality… It was a joy. But after a time, even a short time, in a city I long for the crowded emptiness of the countryside. And so I set out for a walk - four walks in fact.

Walk 1: The beach. Ballycastle is an odd little town perched on the edge of the Atlantic Ocean. I walked the length of the beach there, and marvelled at the fact that on a gloriously clear day I virtually had the place to myself. Besides a young family flying a kite and a middle aged man collecting pebbles (why?) I was completely alone. Besides the huge growl of ocean colliding with land, and the cry of a thousand gulls, it was silent. Apparently I was the only person in the country not out trying on costumes or making final adjustments to their pumpkins – well, one of six people anyway.
I used to teach in Ballycastle. I miss it. The combination of the craic I had with my pupils and the inspirational view from the windows of the ocean made my classroom a joyous place to be.

I love the sea – I miss it intensely when I leave for any amount of time. Yesterday I stayed till my face was bright with exposure and my mind was clear of… well, just clear. My afternoon was spent breathing in the fresh air and watching the sea batter rocks and gently caress the sand.

Walk 2: The moors. I moved on south to the heather covered hills leading to the majestic Glens of Antrim. My feet, already sharing my shoes with sand from Ballycastle Strand, became itchy with broken off bits of the course heather. I remember hiking up here when I was a teenage member of the Boys’ Brigade. Back then I cursed the spongy sensation of the ground beneath my feet. It seemed to force that little bit more effort out of every step. Of course back then I was carrying my own weight of tent, clothes, emergency food and pot noodles on my back. Today I was able to walk where I wanted, when I wanted, and if anything the whole experience lifted a weight off my back.

Loughareema, the vanishing lake, was clearly not vanished today. I have a vague recollection of hearing about researchers dying the water in an attempt to discover to whence the water vanished. I can’t remember if they came to any conclusions or indeed whether I made the whole thing up in my astonishingly flexible memory.
To me it makes no difference. The magic of the place does not lie in the water level.

Walk 3: The pastures. North Antrim has some extraordinarily fertile land. I don’t know whether this area, a few miles inland, could be described as such or not – but it is beautiful. My father worked in this area for the Department of Agriculture for years. He has many crazy tales of the characters he met in the course of his career. I wonder if characters like those are still being created or whether they are a dying breed like the smallholdings they cared for. I stopped to have a long conversation with a rather erudite sheep. His opinions of Sarah Palin were intriguing though I think his fear of Polar Bears may have clouded his judgement slightly.

Walk 4: The Town. After all that fresh air my body ached for toxins. The only way to satisfy it was to go somewhere with car exhaust fumes and freely available caffeine. And so I made my way to the nearest town – Ballymena. In many ways this is a typical Northern Irish town – its divided population and sporadic sectarianism are in direct contrast with the hospitality and friendliness of those you met there. Sons of this little town include Timothy Eaton (of Eaton Center fame – where I first discovered the delights of Calvin Klein Contradiction for men) and Liam Neeson (who seems equally at home as Scottish Warrior or a Jedi Warrior)
The streets were oddly empty today. Vaguely reminiscent of the beach I found myself sharing the area only with some police officers. Police officers with torches, checking every dark corner and grating; police officers on bikes, police officers in cars, police officers with dogs, police officers with big guns – lots of police officers with guns. I tried to work out what was going but was at a complete loss. It was surely an overreaction for the Halloween festivities that evening. I found out much later that there was to be a homecoming parade for our local regiment, the Royal Irish Regiment. They have done tours in Iraq and have only just returned from Afghanistan. The tight security was because of anticipated republican protests and a fear that things could turn nasty.
As it turns out everything passed off relatively peacefully.

I was glad.

I have my own opinions about how valid the various wars involving our soldiers are – but I was mortified that a homecoming parade could be hijacked either by Irish Republicans opposed to everything that the British Army stands for, or by Loyalists eager to turn the situation into a reason for Catholic bashing. Such an event should be removed completely from politics. If that’s possible. Such an event should be about the relief of family and friends that their loved ones have returned, remembrance and mourning those who have not returned. Such an event should be about the human beings that have risked everything – not for the politics that put them in that position.
Tensions are still apparent in this little country of ours. There are still people on both sides spoiling for a fight. Sad to say there are still people here who miss the troubles. But maybe things are slowly changing. And as fewer people have strong memories of that, the darkest part of Ulster’s history, maybe they will find things to share rather than searching for things to fuel the feud.

And there's no denying - it's a beautiful wee country and it shouldn't be spoilt by the people that live there.

the future's bright

I've literally just heard the woman from UTV say that Terrorism is Northern Ireland's fastest growing industry. Doesn't she know how comments like that could inflame situations? We're trying to move forward to a glorious future of comradeship and mutual love - not back to the bad old days of the 'troubles.' How can programme makers gamble with our nation's... oh, 'tourism' - sorry.