Please stop trying, stop trying, and stop trying again

And Robert the Bruce was inspired, or so the story goes. It had been a hard time for him by all accounts. He's watched his army suffer horrendous defeat time and time again to Edward I's english rabble. He'd seen three of his brothers murdered, his wife imprisoned and he'd been forced to run away and hide in a little cave. Locals here will tell you that the cave was on Rathlin Island, just off the Antrim Coast.

As he sat in the gloom he found himself watching a spider - well there wasn't much on TV back then. He watched the spider intricately weaving its silk into a beautiful pattern and then as it tried to spin the web across the space to the other side of the cave - surely impossible Brucie thought. And so it seemed; for the spider failed miserably. "A bit like me Army" thought Bruce. However, instead of giving up and hiding in a cave somewhere the spider had another go - and failed. Again the spider tried to cross the gap - and again it failed, and again and again and again. But then something incredible happened. On its seventh attempt the little brute managed to reach the other side of the cave. Its persistence filled RTB with a new spirit - one which cried out 'Try! Try! And try again!' So inspired was he that he immediately set about rebuilding his army and led Scotland to a famous victory against the English.

I, on the other hand, am not so motivated by this little story. So, will someone please tell the spider hiding behind the wing mirror of my car to give up already! Twice a day I have to clear the mess away so I can actually see the mirror. Sheesk!

200 not out

Post number 200 - and I can't think of anything to say. Typical!

...and sliced bread was some teacher!

mr sam campbell, the best teacher since sliced bread and i will miss him but he isnt giving anything away in his profile so i am sconered waiting for information from anyone.

Aw, some people say the sweetest things sometimes. And I didn't even offer to pay him. Thanks DM, Davo, Munch head, TTOASWAS, or whatever you call yourself these days, keep the blogging rolling - some day you'll be famous.

reverse liberalism

An odd thing happened today while driving round Ballymena looking for a parking spot. I was on an errand - should have been an in-out job, should have been on my way home in two minutes flat. However, I hadn't reckoned on the Ballymena traffic; nor had I reckoned on inconsiderate disabled drivers.

I cannot believe my reaction to the fact that, after eventually parking and having to walk half a mile, I spotted that the car parked in the space directly outside where I was going had a disabled parking permit. It was taking up that space despite the fact that all around were much better placed, wider, and (most importantly) vacant disabled parking bays.

I cannot excuse my thoughts at that point, but for a moment - just a moment - I was overcome with the injustice of it all. I was late, I was out of breath from having to run in my work shoes and suit, and I felt an anger similar to that which i feel when I see able-bodied drivers parking in disabled driver bays. I cannot understand it, I cannot justify it, I cannot explain it. To all my fellow bleeding heart, sandal-wearing, Guardian reading liberals, I apologise, I've let you all down.

image is nothing

I took a PSHE class today. We were looking at drugs - handy really since I also teach a drug awareness course at BB - two lessons prepared for the price of one.

We're told that modern kids are a different breed. That they're not as naive as we were when we were their age. We're told that they grow up faster than we did, that they're streetwise. We're sold an image of a teenager who has grown up surrounded by new technology, who is media savvy and who knows everything there is to know about drugs.

And yet here I am, in a school not five miles away from what is known as the drugs capital of Northern Ireland, and I am astounded by some of the misconceptions these sixteen year olds have about drugs. What they don't know about controlled substances could be written in a... well, a sixteen part leather bound volume of scientific research. They know very little.

A few of them know someone, some even have family members, who have been convicted of possession or supply of narcotics, yet few of them could tell you the difference between cocaine and crack cocaine. They're able to recite lists of class A drugs without any bother but can't think of more than a couple short or long term effects. On several occasions during the lesson they mixed cannabis up with ecstasy (in their heads - not literally.) It all worried me greatly.

Is there a risk that we've let the image of the all-new-teen (fortified with six added vitamin and extra grownup-ness) mask just how immature and vulnerable they really are? Is it like the bravado of a fighter who knows he can't win a fight but doesn't want to lose face? Or perhaps it's like a politician who knows he can't win an election but thinks he can avoid it by giving out the image of someone who can? I don't know. But I do know that, where young people are concerned, we can take nothing for granted. There is far too much at stake. Image is nothing; thirst is everything.

Word of the Day (Part 2 in a 73 part series)

kakistocracy kak·is·toc·ra·cy (kăk'ĭ-stŏk'rə-sē, kä'kĭ-) n., pl. -cies. Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.

[photo of our current cabinet for illustrative purposes - obviously in no way related to this post]

there goes all our dignity

Big financial news in the UK where Richard Branson and a bunch of friends have decided to have a go at taking over Northern Rock.

A consortium led by Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Group has put forward plans to take control of Northern Rock. Under the plans, Northern Rock would keep its stock market listing but would be rebranded as Virgin Money.

This is all very well but surely it can only be seen as bad news for us Newcastle United supporters. If our club's sponsor is taken over by Richard Branson does that mean we'd have to go to the matches in shirts with Virgin written across the chest? Like we don't get made fun of enough already?

when i open my curtains

A gratuitous shot of the sunrise from my window ... because I think it looks good and because I can.

that crushing feeling

Is it just me or are classrooms getting smaller?

I've just spent an hour in a 20ft by 10ft box teaching thirty kids. It amazed me that they all managed to fit themselves in, they are obviously well practiced. The difficulty arose when the 6ft teacher tried to move around the room to see how they were getting on with the work. It's easier to climb Slemish than it was to scale the mountain range of school bags and PE kits piled high between the desks.

Ten minutes into the lesson I noticed another problem - the heat. The radiators were on full and there was no way to control them. That, along with the combined body temperatures of thirty post-PE teens soon made the room unbearably hot - even with the windows open.

And don't get me started on the smell!

who's laughing now?

Every-so-often I start to worry about where all my money is going. I sit down and mentally add up all my regular expenses, look at my exceptional outgoings, check with the rate of inflation - and then go and make a cup of coffee and try to forget all about it. Every time I do this I come to the same conclusion - my biggest expense by far is my car.

I drive about fifty miles a day (not taking into account the occasional diversion) yet by the time I've filled the tank (€70 - its cheaper in Donegal), paid the tax (£115), sent a cheque in for the service which showed up that my brakes needed completely replaced (£323) and paid for insurance I'm out a fortune.

Insurance is the one that gets to me. I have never claimed, I drive a sensible(ish) car, It is rarely parked on roadsides or in less desirable areas and I tend to keep it between the hedges at all times. Yet I pay extra because I live in Northern Ireland. My premiums would be almost £60 cheaper if I lived in some leafy town in the south of England. What annoys me most is when I sitt filling in the online forms - giving every last detail, double checking the vehicle details, hitting submit... only for the screen to tell you that the insurer only covers mainland UK. It's discrimination, that's what it is.

Still, it could be worse. I'm a teacher, and apparently they rate quite highly on the safe drivers list. I think maybe only Bank Managers pay a cheaper premium. Apparently the worst thing I could be is a footballer or a comedian - then I'd be paying (on average) over £300 more! I understand the footballer thing but what have comedian's ever done to deserve this kind of treatment. Are they being victimised because the Insurers are insecure about their public perception - perhaps they feel unloved and want to take it out on someone.

The moral of the story is that if, next time you are pulled over by the police, and after making a sarcastic comment are asked "What are you, some kind of comedian?" the answer should always be "No!"