Word of the day (Part 1 of a 73 part series)

Every so often I come across a word that makes me smile. Sometimes I don't even know why. It could be because it sounds funny, it could be because it means something totally unexpected, it could be because it reminds me of something... it could be anything.

Well because I have nothing better to write I just thought I'd share with you the joy I had when reading Jasper Fforde's "The Big Over Easy." Five pages in I read the word 'Epiphantic' and it made me so happy I had to stop reading for a few minutes to devote my full attention to appreciating the gorgeous sound of the word. I've always loved the sound of 'Epiphany', it's a nice word - but it can't hold a torch to it's adjectival relative. I even looked up the dictionary when I got home to see if any other derivations could complete - they couldn't. Even epiphenomenalism comes up short - although it must be a close second.And now you are beginning to worry about my sanity I must stop. But not before I officially declare Epiphantic my favourite word... for the time being.

I've travelled each and every corridor; and more, much more than this...

So, this is it. I feel like breaking into a rendition of "My Way" but Frank Sinatra I ain't. Today I made my speech (lasted all of 25 seconds) picked up my wine and sauntered out the door.

Then I came in again to pack up my stuff. Many thanks to all of you... sorry, both of you, who came up with suggestions for a new name. Between you I had quite a selection to choose from. Some too rude to print, some downright nasty, some a tad unsympathetic ("The Thoughts of an Unemployed Special Needs Teacher" - thanks for that one Mr Mulligan) and some just plain odd. I was discussing the issue with a colleague a few days ago.

Oh, the Special Needs bit refers to your role in the school? I just assumed it was a comment on you personally. I thought you were just trying to be funny by describing yourself as special needs. If I were you I'd leave it - It describes you perfectly.

And so I'm leaving it. Not because of her, frankly soul destroying, advice; nor because most of the suggestions you offered were, frankly, pitiful; but because I am too darn lazy to even think about doing a redesign at the moment. Keep thinking up suggestions - maybe someday you'll offer one that makes me go - hmmm.

Deed Poll

In something like a week's time I will no longer be able to, in all honesty, call this the thoughts of a special needs teacher. I will no longer be a special needs teacher. So I will have to think of a new name for this blog. Any ideas out there?

vote mr c in 2008

I did a quick internet test to see who I should vote for in the 2008 American Presidential elections... Well who I should vote for if I was actually elligible to vote in the American Presidential Elections... If I was actually even American. Anyway, I thought it would be interesting.

Your Results:

1. Barack Obama (79%)
2. Dennis Kucinich (72%)
3. Christopher Dodd (71%)
4. Al Gore (67%)
5. Alan Augustson (66%)
6. Wesley Clark (65%)
7. John Edwards (65%)
8. Joseph Biden (64%)
9. Hillary Clinton (62%)
10.Bill Richardson (52%)
11.Mike Gravel (52%)
12.Ron Paul (45%)
13.Elaine Brown (36%)
14.Mike Huckabee (35%)
15.Rudolph Giuliani (33%)
16.John McCain (32%)
17.Kent McManigal (32%)
18.Tommy Thompson (30%)
19.Chuck Hagel (27%)
20.Mitt Romney (26%)
21.Fred Thompson (25%)
22.Newt Gingrich (24%)
23.Jim Gilmore (22%)
24.Sam Brownback (21%)
25.Duncan Hunter (21%)
26.Tom Tancredo (18%)

I'm actually surprised. Honestly. I would have believed that Obama would have been a bit on the popular side for me. I'm also shocked that 9 of my top 10 are Democrats (the other 5th placed candidate being a member of the Green Party. I may consider myself liberal but I would have thought there'd be at least one republican out there who shared some of my views.
And does the fact that Duncan Hunter and Barak Obama combined represent 100% mean that a Obama/Hunter team would be my perfect choice for President/Vice President. I suppose it only works if what constitutes Hunter's 21% is different from that of Obama's 79% - which is actually quite likely. Imagine having a Presidential team that is 100% in line with your opinions. It would be like being President myself. Vote Mr C!

Anyway, just to let you know I'll be making up a Barack Obama float to drive through the streets of Ballymoney in the run up to the election. All help would be appreciated and if anyone has a contact address for a marching band...

You can try the test for yourselves by clicking here if you want.

and the award for least likely to succeed goes to...

The award for the greatest similarity to a celebrity. This was an award I was given at a formal evening at the end of my first year at UUC. The final year drama students were having a last hurrah and had invited me along to the event because I had acted with many of them in a few plays through the year. I would have been flattered had the celebrity in question not been the Jolly Green Giant. Needless to say I smiled wryly as I picked up the certificate and, truth be told, I was actually a little flattered that the final years had accepted me enough to be able to make me the butt of a joke.

Spoof award ceremonies have been part of the education system for years. For as long as the authorities have been handing out awards for academic achievment the anti-authoritarians have been performing parodies. One the highlights of my school's formals are the annual awards like the 007 award for best use of hair gel or the Jordan award for classy dressing.

These are only really funny if the recipient of the "honour" is able to accept the joke in the manner it is offered, and if it comes from a group of their peers who are happy to take as well as give; otherwise it can just be plain nasty.

So imagine getting two separate awards: The Sir Clowns-a-Lot Award (fairly tame) and the Most Likely Not to have Children Award (bit of a edge). Next I want you to imagine that you are ten years old when you are given these awards. Finally I want you to imagine that these were handed out, not by good humoured friends, but by your teachers. This happened to a sixth grade pupil in Indianapolis recently. Matt Porter was given these awards at the end of the last term and his parents weren't too amused:

Words cut deeper than any knife could. They hurt. When you hurt a child like that, you not only hurt him mentally, but it does hurt physically because you withdraw within yourself. That is what Matthew has done.

Matt's stepfather, Joseph Sims

I think their anger is understandable. No one wants their child to be undermined like this at such an early age - and to have that done by his teachers is a bit rough to say the least. I know that I am a sarcastic sod at times, and I know that I use quite a lot of banter in my lessons - but I make a point of only doing it with pupils who understand the nature with which it is intended. If a pupil struggles to get my humour I make a point not to use that with them and try a different approach. It's called being flexible.

The teachers in this sad tale appear to have been, at best, naive. They also, obviously, felt that they were entitled to impose their sense of humour on their pupils. They were, it could be suggested, a little bit stupid to actually sign the certificates. Having said all that I think it may have been blown a little out of proportion. A thought that I feel is backed up by the news that Matt's mother not only asked for an apology from the teachers involved but also insists that her son is in serious need of counseling because of the event. Comments like that would have the Daily Mail journos writing articles about how our elders managed to fight two world wars, land on the moon and survive on gruel while we seem to need counseling if we trip over our shoe laces. It also does nothing to further the cause of those of us who want to stamp out bullying in schools - from pupils and teachers.

must try harder

If there is one task I can't stand doing it is writing reports. In my job I do these for pupils at the end of each term - I would have thought I'd be an expert by now. Fortunately the range of things I have to report on in Learning Support is vast and makes the process much more straight forward. It is in my subject teaching that I struggle.

You see I also teach a couple of periods of drama. I love drama, and I love teaching drama. And the fact that I only teach one class makes it something I look forward to as a bit of a change. It also means that I don't have too many reports to write. Thirteen to be precise.

Why am I struggling to come up with thirteen individual comments? There are teachers out there who have hundreds. I know each of the children personally. I can describe them in great depth. I can see dramtic potential (or lack thereof) in each and could talk about it for hours. But putting it down in one short phrase without resorting to cliches is proving to be a difficult task.

Keen, hard working, attempts everything to the best of their ability.

An energetic and enthusiastic pupil with a great imagination.

Shows good understandingpleasant and cooperative has a good grasp of the basic skills required.

an excellent independent learner.

They really should teach us how to do this stuff during teacher training. My brain has gone blank and I've turned to this blog as my favoured method for procrastination. There are web sites out there to help come up with things to say - but the NI Education network (C2K) has blocked them. Typical!

hands up if you are an invisible pupil

Education has been in the news quite a bit recently, what with the Conservatives wanting to do away with grammar schools, well wanting to do away with grammar schools that haven't been built yet (is that possible?), then wanting to renew their love of grammar schools. But most people know my views on academic selection and the priviledged few by now so I want to think about another education story.

Teachers who encourage whole classes to put their hands up to answer a question, risk leaving quiet children behind, a government study suggests. bbc.co.uk

This study was widely reported on Friday and it left me a little confused. Predictably the right wing press (who apparently want us to go back to sitting in rows and writing on slates - best pupil getting to warm their hands at the range for 30 seconds at breaktime) jumped on it as another example of political correctness gone overboard. While I am loathed to show any sort of support for this approach, after reading the report I am left wondering whether it was actually needed.According to Secretary of State for Education and Skills Alan Johnson,

This practical report takes hands-on learning from the classroom about strategies that work, and gives that knowledge back to the frontline... I want to remove the barriers which prevent any individual child from reaching their full potential... These reports will help all teachers to personalise their classroom teaching to the needs of specific groups. DfES

I have to get this man to help me prepare my job applications. He knows all the right words. I still get the impression that, sometimes, these reports are written for the sake of writing reports.Of course teachers have to be aware of th"invisible" pupil. Of course teachers have to ensure that each individual pupil is taking something from the lesson and is hitting the learning objectives. Of course we need to encourage pupils to step out of their comfort zone and push themselves to achieve their potential. None of this is new. I was able to spout all of this during my teacher training - I knew it then and I knew it before I read this report. The report makes suggestions for classroom strategies that, quite frankly, if teachers didn't already know they need to go back to training. The report provides guidelines for identifying "invisible pupils" that are as common sense as not driving at night with broken headlights,

Invisible children• are quiet and undemanding; the description of them as ‘invisible children’ comes from teachers• don’t mind if they don’t receive immediate attention and will sit for long periods waiting for it• are uncomfortable with open-ended questions• many have strategies to avoid the teacher’s gaze in the classroom

The words "Um, duh" spring to mind. I'm all for DfES taking an interest in improving the education of our youngsters - I just wish they could do so without patronising those of us who do it every day.