It took some pretty strong persuasion but I am coming out of a year long retirement (again) to appear on stage. I can’t actually tell you much about the play itself – I’ve only been to the auditions and one read through. I should really have read through the script about a dozen times by now but this is me we’re talking about.It’s a play by William Douglas Home called The Secretary Bird. An English comedy apparently; which generally means not very funny and we have to put on English accents (which I cannot do.)
The concept is something like this – forgive me if any of this is inaccurate. A married couple are having issues. The wife, Liz, has taken herself a lover, and plans to run away with him. The husband, Hugh, agrees to give her a divorce. To avoid her being named as the reason for the break up he arranges to be caught in bed with his attractive, young secretary by his housekeeper. Still with me? He invites his secretary, Molly, and his wife’s lover, John over for the weekend. Of course nothing goes to plan; the husband and wife reconcile and John leaves with Molly. Fun, frolics and laughter abound. I will be playing John, the wife’s lover with the slightly dodgy Canadian-Irish tinged English accent and who is nowhere near as athletic as he is supposed to be.
I haven’t acted in a stage play for a very long time. The thought of it fills me with dread and panic. But there is one thing that is worrying me more than anything. The idea of having to kiss an old woman in front of an audience… well, I can’t imagine it – I’m trying not to.
Public kissing is not an issue for me. In my first year and a half at university I was in eleven plays, nine of which involved making out with a total of ten different people. It became passé. It was like a normal, everyday thing. But these were all people the same age, or slightly younger than me. This woman is in her sixties.
Would it make me ageist if I was slightly uncomfortable with the idea of making out with a pensioner? Would I be bad person? I don’t care. I am.
2 comments:
congratulations!!! (i think . . . right? i mean, i am supposed to be congratulating you at this point, yeah? ok, good . . . possibly.)
i loooove the theater! i haven't acted in a long time, but i did "our town" and several musicals when i was in college. plus, i was on the ucla mock trial team, which was all acting . . .
oh, i'm jealous! how fun! tres exciting, indeed! que fabuloso, amigo!
i've never heard of this particular play, but i'm sure you'll be tremendous . . . that is, if you're anything like your YouTube performances. (didn't think i'd seen those, huh? well . . . i have . . .)
so, listen, i'm wondering if i can stop calling you "mr. c" and refer to you as "the cougar hunter" now?
i like it. suits you.
i mean, i don't know you or anything, but i like to say things like "suits you" to complete strangers, whose blog i frequent a little too much.
where was i?
oh, yeah, "cougar hunter" . . .
the only concern i have is that rather than slipping you the tongue accidentally on purpose, she'll slip you her dentures . . . and that's just not cool, what with it being a choking hazard and all . . .
but seriously, are we talking 60, sophia loren style, or 60, margaret thatcher style? because, if it's the former over the latter, pucker-up, baby . . . however, if it's the latter . . . well, just know that there are worse things in life . . . i can't think of any right now, but i'm sure there are some . . .
watch out for those dentures, darlin'.
ps: you're not a bad person.
much.
How did I miss this comment? I'm only reading it now, over a month later. The YouTube thing worries me greatly - please don't judge anything about me on those. No, really.
But not as much as "the cougar hunter" - I need exposition.
Look out for clips from rehearsals on YouTube.
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