100 yards in 6 (stupid) minutes

I cannot believe how badly set out this world can be at times. What do town planners do all day?

The above image is not modern art - It is not a proposed rerouting of the Drumcree Orange March. It is the route through the town I had to take to get from the front of my school to the back last night.

We were having a concert in aid of the Salvation Army. The evening was hosted by a local celebrity and ,as local celebrities will do, he brought along his entourage.

At the end of the night the audience and performers drifted off. I walked through from the hall at the back of the school to the front car park. There the celebrity was getting into a car. One of his assistants was holding the door for him. When the car departed the assistant went to go back into the school to get to his car (parked in the back car park.) This is where the trouble began.

The door had closed behind him when they went to put the (stupid) celebrity in his car. If the (stupid) door closes behind you it automatically locks. Not a problem - ring the bell and someone in reception buzzs you in - well, they do if there's anyone in the (stupid) reception. At 11pm there wasn't. He began banging the door and shouting despite the fact that a quick look at the empty car park would have shown that there was no one left inside.

He tried to walk around the building. Unfortunately someone had decided it would be a bad idea to have a way of getting around the building and had placed big (stupid) metal fences to stop people doing it.

It was raining - I was feeling compassionate. I offered to drive him to his car. We got in and set off. Almost immediately we were caught up in the (stupid) one-way system and had to travel right round the town. As he drove in what was obviously the wrong direction I could sense his unease. He had his hand on the door handle and I half expected him to dive out at one of the (stupid) red lights that we kept meeting.

I tried to lighten the mood with a little banter - he remained silent.

Eventually, after a tour of a rather uninteresting part of town, we arrived at the back of the school and he stumbled from my car into his. I said goodbye - he didn't look back. Ungrateful sod.