'previously on mickey d's'

Out for a quiet drive today I came across a McDonalds in the middle of somewhere I’d never been before – I’d tell you where but I’m not actually sure myself. Now obviously I would normally never partake of junk food - can't you tell by looking at me? But I was starving and the only other car in the car park was a vintage Rolls Royce and so I assumed it was a higher class of Mickey D's.Inside I was the only customer except for two men who were clearly a bridegroom and a chauffeur. Obviously the poor man had lost his nerve on the way to his wedding and his driver had pulled in to the nearest fast food joint for a Big Mac with a portion of counselling on the side. I was intrigued but not rude enough to actually shove my head between them and listen in on the conversation - so I can only surmise. I like to think the conversation may have gone a little like this:

Groom: I can’t do it!
Chauffeur: It’s understandable to have second thoughts on the morning of your wedding – it happens to the best of us. But we put them aside, close our eyes and take the plunge. She’s probably concerned as well but you’ll both get through this together. Think of the wonderful future you will have.
G: No, I meant I can’t eat this. Charlotte made me give up junk food.
C: You’re planning to humiliate the woman by jilting her at the altar and you’re worried she wouldn’t approve of your dietary choices?
G: She says it’s for the good of my health.
C: If you’re so worried about your health I suggest you rethink the idea of jilting the daughter of a shotgun-owning farmer. Indigestion won’t be the half of it.
G: You don’t understand – I couldn’t handle the pressure. It was like she was looking at me and expecting me to hold the key to her future, her family’s future, our country’s future… The future of the human race. I look in her eyes and see dependence. When she smiles at me it’s as if she’s trusting in me completely. Damn it I love her but I couldn’t live with myself if I ever let her down. She may trust in me but I’m not sure I trust in myself anymore.
C: You don’t think you might be being a little dramatic?
G: Why do you say that?
C: The serving staff just gave you a standing ovation.
G: What am I going to do?
C: I’ll tell you what you’re going to do – You’re going to take a bow, wipe that bit of ketchup off the side of your mouth, get to that church, marry the woman of your dreams and live happily ever after. Oh, but just one thing before you do?
G: Yes?
C: Are you going to finish those fries?

I’m a sucker for a happy ending.