i'm not a young as i once was

Another year older - and for a change I think actually this time I do feel it.

Today i am 32. I can no longer kid myself that I am anything other than a thirty-something. As a child I assumed by this stage I would have a permanent career, a mortgage, a wife, a dog, and at least two kids. I assumed I would be driving sensible cars and wearing sensible shoes.

What I didn't assume is that I would have the aches and pains of an old man.

My ankle is still hurting - I can walk normally but the idea of running, jumping, even cycling, fills me with concern. As soon as I put any strain on the ankle it swears at me and threatens dire punishments.

My pupils say it's cause I'm old. The PE teacher says its 'cause I never gave it a chance to heal and "what do you expect if you don't rest it. You're lucky you can walk on it." The lady who cleans my classroom says its just the cold weather. But if it isn't then she has the cure.

Yesterday she happened to see me as I was leaving and asked how my ankle was. I haven't been talking to her for almost a month. I told her it was ok but I still felt a bit of pain. She hmmed with the knowing hmm of an experienced practitioner. "What you need is some....." I say '.....' because my mind was already drifting off to the marking I had to do that evening and i don't actually know what it was that she was prescribing. But i must have been nodding encouragingly for five minutes ago she arrived at my door with two bottles. They would fix me she said - and when I made some comment about being willing to try anything she fixed me with an icy look and said "They WILL fix you."

So now I'm scared. Scared to try them - and scared what she'll do to me if I don't. Neither of the bottles contains its original contents. The Convent Garden Bath Soak bottle contains a fruity smelling gel that I am apparently supposed to bath in for as long as possible. The little foot softening cream jar is filled with a spicy concoction that I am to rub on the affected part.

The concern she showed for the sub teacher who leaves a messy room everyday for her to clean and smiles gormlessly when she is talking to him is touching. I feel like I want to repay her thoughtfulness - but my fear of her... well

I'll let you know if the smelly stuff works.