how much!?!?

It’s our school formal tonight. A couple of hundred teenagers are about to descent on one of the nicer hotels in Portrush and turn it into party-central. For those Americans out there a formal is, I suppose, a little like a school prom. Final year pupils dress up in evening wear, try to slip a few miniatures into pockets, handbags and secret hemlines, and go to a hotel for a meal and a dance.

This is my third formal as a teacher. I didn’t go to my own formal as a pupil – we got tickets to see Bob Dylan in Belfast (I know, it shames me) and spent the evening in the Kings Hall. I remember thinking at the time that we were saving money despite the travel costs and the entry fee to the concert – these days I think we’d be saving more than a little money.

The pupils these days think nothing of the money they throw at it. I’ve seen couples arrive in a chauffeur driven vintage Rolls Royce followed by another couple in a stretched Jaguar Limo – from Limavady to Portrush! In my day you got your elder sister to give you a lift down in her bashed up Rover Metro.

I asked a fairly level-headed seventeen year old how much she was spending on this evening.

“Hmm” she said, “The dress was fairly cheap – it only cost £180; the shoes and handbag were expensive - £50. The jewellery is a present from my Mother – although I bought a necklace to go with my dress £75. The Limo is £40 each, the make up, eye brow shaping, manicure, pedicure, wax, eyelash tint and teeth whitening is about £120. The tan was two sessions I think that’s £30 in total. I had my hair styled, that was £48, the tickets are £25 but I’m paying for my partner as well so that’s £50. The photo is £8… I think that’s about it. How much is that?”

“£601” I think the shock had sharpened my mental arithmetic skills. “for one night.”

“Yeah, but it’s the only night like it I’ll ever have.”

“For one night.”

“But I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.”

“One single evening.”

“But I’ll still have the dress and jewellery for years to come.”

“Will you ever wear the dress again?”

“Hell no!”

“How long will the hair and stuff last?”

“Well I can’t keep it like that for school on Monday.”

“six hundred pounds.”

“and a pound”

I’m spending £35 – I feel cheap.