every little helps

Those crafty checkout operators are on to me. I knew they would eventually - they're not as dumb as they look - I used to teach some of them so I know what I'm talking about.

Tesco - that faceless farmer hating superpower - have a promotion on at present. If you have one of their club cards then you can earn extra points on it by bringing your own bags. They publicised it with TV ads featuring celebrities carrying their shopping in their own type of bag - so Martine McCutcheon uses a hand bag, Alan Titchmarsh uses a wheel barrow, Alan Wicker uses a suitcase, and Paul Daniels pulls all of his shopping out of a hat. I have to admit I sneakingly quite like the ad but don't tell anyone. Oh, and did you know Paul Daniels has his own blog - it came as quite a shock to me when I typed his name in google looking for information about the ad and ended up reading about how he had to eject three spiders from his house last night.

Anyway, I never remember to bring a bag to earn my "green points" so I started pretending to the checkout operator that I had a bag in my pocket and when the transaction was complete and she'd turned to the next customer I'd start filling my pockets with stuff and try to carry the rest in my arms to the car park. Inevitably I had problems trying to unlock my car with my keys under three apples in my pockets and my arms full of bagels and chorizo, but I got my points - I felt so underhand.

But the last time I was in Ballymoney Tescos it didn't work. I don't know why. I carried out the plan to perfection. I waited until someone was about to go towards a checkout and then nipped in front of them (to make sure that the operator had a customer directly after me), I puffed out my pocket to make it look like it contained a bag, I smiled sweetly and waited until the operator was about to reach for a bag, I waved my hand and said "oh, it's ok, I have one here." and patted my pocket (a blatant lie!) and stacked the items for a quick pick up and getaway, I paid for the food, I made sure she wasn't looking and I picked it all up and - away out the door dropping things around me as I went.

The thing was, when I got to my car and looked at my receipt - No green points! She was on to me. What a player! She even smiled at me when I told the lie about having a bag, and all the time she knew. Next time I'll bring my own bag - either that or think even more crafty - they will not beat me.