you went out with a what?

I went out with a free Presbyterian last night – I’m shocked at myself – I didn’t think I had it in me – on so many levels.

I have to admit that I would never have pictured myself going out with an FP, and it’s not something I set out to do; it just happened. I mean, you don’t plan these things, do you? Oh I’ve considered diversifying in the past, dabbled with the idea of hanging out with the RPs or the Eps, the Baptists, the Methodists, various forms of Brethren, various forms of Anglican, Pentecostal, Catholic, Unitarian, Amish… but not Free Presbyterians.

Why not? Because I have a tendency to stereotype religions in a wholly unfair way (for stereotype read judge) and my perception of Free Ps has not always been the best – no, that’s not right, more my perception of Free Ps is that they and I have little in common – other than the basics of our faith, the roots of our denomination, the society in which we live, the air which we breathe… ok, we have a lot in common! I just see them as being a lot less flexible and a lot more hard line than I see myself.

This got me thinking about how I view a lot of other religions. I totally stereotype them all. Say the word Methodist and I already have an image in my head, Pentecostal – arm waving, eyes closed; Baptist – happy clappy hat wearing bappies; Catholic… hmm, better not mention them in a blog about FPs – You see there I go again! Totally stereotyping an entire denomination with the catholic hating image. And it’s simply not true.

Free Presbyterians do a huge amount of work in society and their unwavering reliance on the Gospel and their insistence that we keep ramming it home until we get it right is admirable. Some of the new churches they’re building suggest they’re growing rapidly – and the new building they’ve built in Ballymoney is very impressive.

Anyway, back to last night, because that is where the date began - at the opening of Ballymoney's new Free Presbyterian Church building - Hebron FP Church. It was an interesting experience - I got to hear the Rev Dr Big Ian preach first hand for the first time ever and it shattered some of my illusions. After that we went on for coffee and we got a chance to get to know each other better. I looked very carefully, she didn’t have two heads, she wasn’t wearing a rangers shirt, she didn’t have a photo of Ian Paisley in her purse, she didn’t complain that the music we were listening to was Romanist propaganda; she was perfectly normal. Soon into a second soya latte the conversation turned to what church I attended (In America on a date you talk about TV, in Australia you talk about sports, in England you talk about the weather, in Scotland you talk about England, in Northern Ireland you talk about religion) I told her I was Presbyterian, she seemed happy enough, I then lowered my eyes and admitted that I was a woolly liberal Presbyterian. She looked at me and said, “That’s okay, I’m a woolly liberal Free Presbyterian.”

I doubt if I’ll be seeing her again. I refuse to believe that woolly liberal Free Presbyterian’s exist and I can’t possibly date someone in whose existence I don’t believe.