From Teen Obesity to Bridget Jones in Three Easy Steps

The word obesity has been used with virtual obsessive-compulsive regularity in the media over the past year. In the next few days the government will release a statement that something will have to be done about fitness levels or things will get worse (seriously?) They’ve pulled out some statistic claiming that unless drastic action is taken 33% of men in the UK will be seriously overweight in 4 years. Where does the four year deadline come from? And will someone please define seriously overweight. At what point does fatness go from being funny to being no laughing matter? Now that would be a government statement that would get my undivided attention. They could use a photo of Vanessa Feltz along with the word “funny” and then another of Rick Waller labelled “not funny.” I think they should run with it.

I am obese. I am 5 stone over what is considered healthy for my height. That’s a lot. I hate the fact that I am so fat and unhealthy; and if I had an ounce of self-respect and discipline I’d do something about it. I’m just not sure that the government saying that something has to be done about my weight is going to make me run to the gym any faster.

Most of the ideas being batted around seem to involve targeting children. Teenage obesity is right up there with teenage pregnancy as the scourge of the western world. The ideas can be split, I believe, into three categories:

1
Target the fatties: Okay, maybe that was a less than subtle description, but that is in essence what it boils down to. The ideas include spot weigh-ins and programmes of healthy eating and exercise specifically for overweight kids. There is good theory behind this. Overweight kids aren’t being catered for by conventional PE lessons. I remember vividly what it was like to be picked last for games and listening to the PE teacher telling the whole class that myself and two other pupils would struggle with a particular lesson because we “are carrying a lot of extra weight.” Not nice. Fat camps have proved a great success and have helped a lot of kids with their self-esteem as well as their body shape. My problem with implementing this in mainstream education is that it will undoubtedly lead to labelling overweight kids as different from the rest; working in the LSU as shown me how dangerous this can be.

2
Whole school: I lean more towards a whole school policy on health – including healthy eating and activity. Our school moved to a swipe card system for catering a few years back. We are not, however, not making the most of its possibilities. Think of discounted fruit and vegetables being subsidised by a premium for greasy junk. Think of award points for healthy choices. Think of pupils being taught about ways of improving their fitness rather than just why they need to do it. Think about individual targets without alienating the fat kids.

3
Jamie Oliver: Put Jamie, Bono and Bob Geldof in a room and surely there would be world peace within an hour.

As for me? Well I know I have to do something about my fitness. I have ideas and I have plans. I have thought about recording my weight on this thing on a weekly basis as an incentive. I’m not sure – not because of the humiliation of it all – more because I’m scared of sounding like Bridget Jones. I used to have an ex and the only bad thing I could tell you about her is that she used to write entire letters in Bridget J language. VV annoying. If that ever happens to me please put me out of my misery.