I'm addicted to elvis cole

I don't want to be. It pains me to admit it to educated people like yourself. I am trained in English Literature on both sides of the atlantic. I like to think I know what makes good literature and what makes trash-lit. Robert Crais may be an incredibly successful author but he is hardly high art - and yet I can't get enough of his writing.

For those of you who don't know, Robert Crais is the author of the best-selling Elvis Cole novels. He grew up in Louisiana and started off writing short stories and making home movies (sound familiar? well, maybe not the Louisiana bit.) After moving to Hollywood he wrote scripts for Cagney and Lacey (Woohoo!), Hill Street Blues and Miami Vice (The non-Colin Farrell version.) Eventually he created the character of Elvis Cole, a rather sharp talking Hollywood Private Investigator, for a stand alone novel called The Monkey's Raincoat. But one novel was never going to be enough and the Elvis Cole series began, and ten books in shows no sign of stopping. He does write other non-Cole novels, you may have heard of Demolition Man or Hostage (didn't they make that one into a movie? - maybe somebody can update me)

So far so good - but it gets even better for Crais. He's had books on the New York times Best Seller List, Beach book of the week and Page turner of the week for People magazine; He's been nominated for the Mary Higgins Clark Award and the Edgar Award among aothers; He's won the Dilys Award for mystery novels, the Shamus Best PI Novel Award and the Antony Award for Best Paperback Publication; he's even been nominated for an Emmy.

So what is the problem? Well to be frank I don't like most of his characters; he underdevelops some of the main players and overdevelops the bit-parters; he tries to hard to be descriptive and ends up detailing every turn off in every road journey his character takes (do we really need to know the road names?) he signposts clues to the plot in very obvious ways; he takes huge diversions which have no relevence to the story; his subplots are trite; he doesn't trust the reader to pick up any clever touches or sarcastic comments without pointing them out; he stereotypes race despite the fact that his, also heavily stereotyped PI protaganist, is politically correct to the point of nausea [deep breath] He is so intent on maintaining the series that his conclusions are generally always unsatisfying; when Cole cooks a meal we get a full ingredient and method recipe for the meal; Cole's sickly relationship with Lucy wastes valuable reading time that I will never get back. The thing I like to dislike the most is the way every restauant Elvis Cole enters is descibed in minute detail along with a glowing review of the food (Robert Crais must get the best seat in every restaurant in LA) I do like the cat. Cole's cat is cool.
And yet I'm hooked. I can't get enough of Robert Crais' writing and, specificly, the Elvis Cole stories. It all started when someone dumped a pile of books in the staffroom with a note saying "free to a good home" I picked up a couple of novels I'd heard of and a random pick. That random pick was Sunset Express - number six in the series. I left it at the bottom of the pile of holiday books I'd bought, stolen, borrowed and didn't expect much from it. When I did eventually read it I tutted and winced my way through it. In my mind I imagined using it to point out pitfalls a creative writer might make (I often imagine being a lecturer.) I sighed a relieved sigh when I made it to the end. I got in my car, drove to Waterstones and bought another. I don't know why but I had to find out more about this hawaiian shirt wearing PI with the attitude ridden cat. Three weeks later and I have now read four of the series and am working my way through number five. I have no intention of stopping there. I'll have read all ten by Christmas and be waiting impatiently (the way I do for the release of each season's Scrubs on DVD) for the next one to come along... and there will be a next one. I read the latest last week and it had, as ever, an unsatisfying end. I don't know exactly how Crais will end the series but I'm confident he'll make it clear to us all that he has when he does.

Mr Crais, if by some fluke you ever stumble across this, please don't be offended by my dismissal of your work. You may not be alongside the greats in my estimation but you have something that very few authors have, something I can't describe. I can't describe it because I don't understand it. As soon as I do I'm going to make myself very rich.